Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Joeydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 129
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1020
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 785



    Description:
       This is obvious, a broken heart, can't get over it, can't make this shit heal.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsJoeydots
    -------------------------------------------


    We sat on the pavement
    you brushed my hair from my eyes
    you sang to me and held me when I cried

    you promised a life with you
    but that was something you could never give away
    so now when you say you love her
    I am completely filled with pain

    I layed beneath your covers
    went shopping with you and your mother
    watched you skate with your friends
    and played Tony Hawk with your little brother

    I lost my innocence to you
    then cried my broken heart on your guitar
    and when Angel asked for your answer

    you said " I can't be with her"
    I bled inside
    and you knew I loved you so much
    I walked away stripped from your love




    Submitted on 2004-12-19 01:37:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      OKay Rachel I am sorry for everything, honestly I have no bad feelings for you, thanks for writing on my poem and I wrote it to sort of try and forget about this other guy David, he kinda reminds me of Joey which is completely irrelevant but anyways I just wanted to say I am cool with you and the reason it hurt so bad when I lost Joey was because I lost an entire family with it, Angel was like my mother and honestly it probably bothered her more than me but it's okay because it all worked out for the best, if me and Joey hadn't broken up I would never have created all the art I did or get to know David. I really hope you guys are happy and maybe could be friends, if Joey thinks so much of you, you must be awesome.
    | Posted on 2004-12-27 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      im sorry for your pain..i know that i caused it, and im sorry. this was a really good peice, it had a lot of emotion. i hope things get better for u.
    | Posted on 2004-12-22 00:00:00 | by _Joeysgirl_ | [ Reply to This ]
      Awww this is so sad! I am sorry for your loss and your pain, I hope it all goes away soon and you find your true love to restore the love you've lost.

    -P1
    | Posted on 2004-12-19 00:00:00 | by psycho_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      man that is really sad. I love the way you speak so plainly and linear story telling here. It is very very sincere and almost exudes sadness. Definitely a heavy somber piece. I think it is all the little details that really give this poem life and I personally loved it.


    great write.

    peace,
    kam
    | Posted on 2004-12-19 00:00:00 | by Mister Fizzle | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    38421

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Every..... written by jackz
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    written by Daniel Barlow
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Push written by JanePlane
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    AI written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    prison written by ShyOne
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Love written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry