[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Joeydots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 129
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1062
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 785

       This is obvious, a broken heart, can't get over it, can't make this shit heal.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    We sat on the pavement
    you brushed my hair from my eyes
    you sang to me and held me when I cried

    you promised a life with you
    but that was something you could never give away
    so now when you say you love her
    I am completely filled with pain

    I layed beneath your covers
    went shopping with you and your mother
    watched you skate with your friends
    and played Tony Hawk with your little brother

    I lost my innocence to you
    then cried my broken heart on your guitar
    and when Angel asked for your answer

    you said " I can't be with her"
    I bled inside
    and you knew I loved you so much
    I walked away stripped from your love

    Submitted on 2004-12-19 01:37:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      OKay Rachel I am sorry for everything, honestly I have no bad feelings for you, thanks for writing on my poem and I wrote it to sort of try and forget about this other guy David, he kinda reminds me of Joey which is completely irrelevant but anyways I just wanted to say I am cool with you and the reason it hurt so bad when I lost Joey was because I lost an entire family with it, Angel was like my mother and honestly it probably bothered her more than me but it's okay because it all worked out for the best, if me and Joey hadn't broken up I would never have created all the art I did or get to know David. I really hope you guys are happy and maybe could be friends, if Joey thinks so much of you, you must be awesome.
    | Posted on 2004-12-27 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      im sorry for your pain..i know that i caused it, and im sorry. this was a really good peice, it had a lot of emotion. i hope things get better for u.
    | Posted on 2004-12-22 00:00:00 | by _Joeysgirl_ | [ Reply to This ]
      Awww this is so sad! I am sorry for your loss and your pain, I hope it all goes away soon and you find your true love to restore the love you've lost.

    | Posted on 2004-12-19 00:00:00 | by psycho_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      man that is really sad. I love the way you speak so plainly and linear story telling here. It is very very sincere and almost exudes sadness. Definitely a heavy somber piece. I think it is all the little details that really give this poem life and I personally loved it.

    great write.

    | Posted on 2004-12-19 00:00:00 | by Mister Fizzle | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    The Promise written by annie0888
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    This written by Chelebel
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Giving written by jjd
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Push written by JanePlane
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Wavelength written by saartha




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]