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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Second Bestdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Zu
    Elite Ratio:    5.12 - 446/379/76
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 929
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1069



    Description:
       well everybody feels like that sometimes.... didnt you ever?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSecond Bestdots
    -------------------------------------------


    they tell me I'm a genius
    then why am i lost
    but i'll have to face the truth
    I'm always second in people's hearts.

    jack of all trades
    they say I'm blessed
    but whatever i'll do
    i'll always be second best.

    second best... second best...

    there she is the girl i like
    all dressed up nowhere to go
    she won't even look at me
    for her I'm a fucking no show.

    jack of all trades
    they say I'm blessed
    but whatever i'll do
    i'll always be second best.

    second best... second best...

    sometimes i can't see
    what is the matter with me
    but i know i'm not first more or less
    cause i'll always be second best.

    jack of all trades
    they say I'm blessed
    but whatever i'll do
    i'll always be second best.

    second best... second best... (repeat till end)




    Submitted on 2004-12-20 09:03:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i know i already commented on this one, but i thought after reading your revised one that i should say something on this one again. i think i actually like this one better. your thoughts seem much more concentrated and it just sounded better in general, the flow was there. so yeah maybe simpler is better?
    | Posted on 2007-12-09 00:00:00 | by playcrackthesky | [ Reply to This ]
      Who cares about the proper rhythm and the correct flow when one can get a complete image of a feeling that is not that oftenly felt or lets put it that way that when you actually feel like that,you are debating whether to express it or not, let it depress you or not...We've been given 5 senses and when it comes to writing, its very easy to use your sense of sight and then writing somethng and make people see the picture that you saw, but when you use any other sense and then make someone actually SEE that in their minds then its rated as exceptional! keep it up zuheir! i like it..
    rUpAnShI.
    | Posted on 2006-02-18 00:00:00 | by rupanshi | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really good
    I definately see this write as a song
    In a lot of your poetry that ive read you create great lyrics
    I hope you are soon putting out a cd as I would buy it
    Take Care
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      wow this really struck a chord for me, cause dont i ever feel this way. except for one thing- no one ever told me i was a genius or that i was blessed. i have felt lost countless times and forever second best. especially when you have my two very smart, insanely pretty, too good for their own health sisters to live up to. all i keep hearing is why dont you use your head, and i keep replying its just another mistake. but whatever people will make you feel that way, you just got to keep going, believing you will prove them all wrong one day. this would make a fantastic song
    -steph
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by playcrackthesky | [ Reply to This ]
      Have you ever heard of Liz Phair? Cool girl she is - and [censored] good artist as well. Concern only her first three albums - the rest is pretty commercial. Why telling you? Cause it sounds like her stuff! :) And it's really fine - cause she does that kind of strange, mysterious Indie stuff, and the secret is hidden somewhere in the construction of the song.

    Exactly like here - you put the chorus part quickly, it's pretty short, with a repetition, and sounds so [censored] well. Very well done.

    As for a song you should certainly listen to - if you can't believe me - it'd be "Johny Sunshine".

    Keep on writing.
    | Posted on 2005-02-19 00:00:00 | by Nightraven | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this. Omigod, I really did. I am serious, I just wish that I could have heard the song in person or you know what I mean. I thought the lyrics were AMAZING! Seriously beyond amazing. I am going to be checking out your pages as much as I can!
    | Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by Chicool2 | [ Reply to This ]
      Glad to see that your writings are getting more and more comments

    I really liked this piece a lot. I like the jack of all trades idea. Like the saying says, "Jack of all trades, yet master of none" Hence, being second best. As far as suggestions go, I would say to maybe get set a one rhyme scheme (might make it easier when coming up with music for the song) and maybe clarify these lines:

    there she is the girl i like
    all dressed up nowhere to go
    she won't even look at me
    for her I'm a [censored] no show.

    Something about the content or something. Maybe something like this:

    there she is the girl i love (I would definately omit the word "like" and maybe put in "love" (sounds more grown up-ish)).
    all dressed up nowhere to go
    I was going to take her for a ride
    Till someone else took her down the road

    I dunno. Something along those lines. Try to stick with the "second best" idear. Good stuff though!
    ~Musing
    | Posted on 2004-12-29 00:00:00 | by MusingMinstrel | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this lyric for its simplicity, that's the key to having it remembered. Yes, genius is a daredevil in flight, trying everything it tastes and seldom do we master all the things we try. But who cares, experience gives us a taste of life few people dare to venture as much as we do. But the ladies, you know,
    they won't wait, I am mysteriously married to the muse, myself. Good news, you're not second best as far as I can tell. What does she really know?
    Thanks for sharing,
    nansofast
    | Posted on 2004-12-28 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      This reminds me of a BNL song...in punk/rock mode. I like the idea behind here because I know I've felt that way a lot just entering high-school and being the young one without the knowledge.....

    I like the idea in here you have about the girl, but it just didnt fit your description....and if it did its a very vague concept that I'd put immediately in the bakc of my head... Maybe chaning it to show you couldnt give as much as hre other lover or something similar.

    Great lyrics Zu, as always.

    --Kayla
    | Posted on 2004-12-23 00:00:00 | by Superman | [ Reply to This ]
      hey
    this is ur new post right? ive been on here for ages and i still dunno where all the new posts r..
    neways u hav some gd lyrics here. i dnt think the swearing was necessary but yer its ur song! :p hehe
    i like ur chorus.
    *i wonder wat kind tune goes along to this.*
    i've never felt second best... jst the loser

    love anoutia
    ~*~xXx~*~
    p.s i gonna send u a PM ;)
    | Posted on 2004-12-20 00:00:00 | by Clementina oso | [ Reply to This ]
      I sometimes feel as you have described. I think the chorus was great and all the rest flowed nicely, even if the rhyming did seem a little random in some places. Not much else to comment on really.

    Was this rejected too?
    No I haven't got the CD yet.

    James
    | Posted on 2004-12-20 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm I really like this...the words just seem to reek of the pain that echoes throughout all of these lyrics. Also you can picture this...err well I can picture this being in a song.

    Nicely done and I thought it was pretty catchy how you rearranged the words. Even though a few parts could have been slightly better on word choice, I enjoyed this once. Keep it up..

    -Geremy-
    | Posted on 2004-12-20 00:00:00 | by Geremy Smith | [ Reply to This ]


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