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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Trees Are Burningdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mithrandir
    ASL Info:    28/m/N.Y.
    Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 452/681/113
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Gothic
    Total Views: 1058
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 770



    Description:
       yeah so I dont know, I write what comes out, thats about it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Trees Are Burningdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The trees are burning she screams
    Have you ever seen anything
    so beautiful before?
    The trees are burning!


    But there was no fire
    in his eyes


    The trees are burning
    come and hold my hand
    Let’s sit and watch
    Let there be silence as they burn


    But there was no love
    in his hands


    Have you ever seen anything
    So beautiful before?
    Let them burn
    Let it all burn


    But there was no fire
    there were no trees
    and most of all
    there was never
    anything between them


    “I wish she would open her eyes”




    Submitted on 2004-12-20 15:45:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like it but I'm pretty sure that I have no idea what it acctally means. I'm just about as clueless as when I read "Never Lands burning" Ha ha. But I still like them.
    | Posted on 2005-02-07 00:00:00 | by Rail | [ Reply to This ]
      bravo! i decided to check this out as well and i'm just a little awe struck lol. the whole time i was reading i'm like "where is this going?" and then the end. perfection. like seeing the end to a good movie ya know? kick ass.
    | Posted on 2005-01-24 00:00:00 | by Butterfly Bullets | [ Reply to This ]
      I decided to look into some of your poetry and of course picked this one to read over first. I have to say, that right at the end of the poem it just grabbed me, my chest sort of lurched as the entire poem came into reality and meaning. When I first started to read the poem it was all vague and hazy as to what you were truly writing about. Then after reading this:

    But there was no fire
    there were no trees
    and most of all
    there was never
    anything between them


    “I wish she would open her eyes”

    ...that is what really caught me. I am assuming that this writing is of a woman and man that obviously have nothing subtsantial between them at all. I am gathering it by the very last stanza and line. This was very clever, or so I thought...and I honestly enjoyed it. Great writing, definitely had a most applauding way with this one.

    -Geremy-
    | Posted on 2005-01-20 00:00:00 | by Geremy Smith | [ Reply to This ]
      well.. i think its about this woman who fancies herself in love with this man.. but the man doesnt see ne thing between them he jus sees her as a pest something he cant get rid of.. its cruel but well its life
    | Posted on 2005-08-23 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]
      My very first impression on the first stanza was that she was speaking of fall colors, autumn in the Adirondacks perhaps. Even though you go on to say there is no fire in his eyes, that doesn't dispel that concept completely.
    When she wants to sit and watch I get the idea that this is more active burning than metaphor. You mention silence as they burn. Fires are noisy. They could be silent as the trees burn, just a thought there.
    I like how the tale unfolds and the revelation comes to the reader. One question, why the quotation marks for the last line? You hadn't used them through the rest of the poem. They aren't right or wrong, I just wondered if I was missing some significance.
    Pretty interesting write,
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-12-27 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      I'd love to give you some type of critique other than this is great, but I can't. I love the contrast between the two and the way you described her passion and his lack thereof. It is a sad piece but very well written.

    ~Cryssi~
    | Posted on 2004-12-24 00:00:00 | by Dreams of Angels | [ Reply to This ]
      There is nothing I can say, no advice I can give to you for the betterment of this piece. It is simply wonderful.

    The fire representing the passion in her very being. The all consuming beauty of feeling in love. He wants her to open her eyes, see the truth, his fire has not yet been started. There aren't even any matches in sight. The conflicting messages you conveyed between the two of them were very well done. She is screaming out without restraint the powerful emotions she feels. He is emotionless as he speaks a simple line. "I wish she would open her eyes”

    Don't change a word.
    | Posted on 2004-12-23 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      I admire the way you write what comes out; I hope you keep doing just that, and don't bother apologizing for it.
    I enjoyed this piece, as it seems directly translated from heart to page.
    I think I can understand that its impossible to share the joys or pains of another's hallucination.
    How long will he wait for her to open her eyes? Or has he left already, leaving her to the fires in her mind? I like the way the piece leaves some questions unanswered...
    Thought-provoking read; thanks for posting it.
    | Posted on 2004-12-20 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      burning trees eh? i couldnt put my finger on the meaning of the burning trees, i do get that the guy feels nothing for the girl and shes all gaga over him, tho theres nothing to their relationship, *sigh* reminds me of my last relationship. i liked it.
    | Posted on 2004-12-20 00:00:00 | by shattered_star | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey John you do have a creative mind...or are visited by a unique sort of muse. I liked how this came across...it's like a Classic fairytale for grown-ups and I loved it. My fav parts are the "But there....." bits. They just slide in, making for a perfect fit. The imagery is superb, making this a vibrant and memorable piece. I liked how close they were physically but that your ending closed her out completely, they are worlds apart. Beautiful sad. A rich poem to read and experience. Daniel
    | Posted on 2004-12-20 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      question is the girl insane because the guy has no interest or is it the other way around. i liked it but the whole imaginary burning trees thing confused me a bit.
    | Posted on 2004-12-20 00:00:00 | by broken_dreamer | [ Reply to This ]
      This is cool. But yet i can't put my finger on the meaning, not quite. I like the major metaphor of it all...does it mean he sees some women he likes but she doesnt like him the same?
    | Posted on 2004-12-20 00:00:00 | by closebutremote | [ Reply to This ]
      Seems to me that she sees fire where there is none, and perhaps you haven't the heart to tell her. This is very sad, but not something we haven't all experienced from one side or the other.

    I always appreciate a variance in form like this, since it's such a task in here. Shows you care about your work, as you should. It deserves care. Good piece.
    | Posted on 2004-12-31 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
      i got from this wonderful write...did i mention i love this write...to me it seems the girlis in love with someone who she thinks is wonderful but really isn't but shes to blind to see ...but the other guy sees and he wishes that she would...maybe the guy is a brother or a best freind to the girl and he doesn't want to see her hurt agian...or maybe hes a freind and has feelings for her and wishes she would notice what they could have but instead shes to wrapped up in what she thinks love is what she thinks she wants...but i love the tree image...and that last line...it leaves the thought the feeling open...beautiful job !...ange
    | Posted on 2005-01-01 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow! this freaked me out!
    like seriously... i think i remember reading this once before at like 4am when i didnt have a brain and i promised i would come back to it and never have until now but man... i dont remember it being like this last time i read it...
    there was nothing there... she was just making it all up... man... the poor girl
    i really love the way you wrote this... the her stanza's are a whole lot bigger than the his stanza (or line...) coz its so the way it is... girls with their trillions of words for a boys single liner... anyways yeah... brilliant write boy! very sad but very brilliant
    | Posted on 2005-01-03 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Whoa well that was weird. I love weird. Normal things aren't creative and make me sad. Anyway hi I thought this was way cool. I believe you commented on one of my poems (think...) and I wasl ike, "Lets see these kind peoples work..." I thought this was like....freaky and I too couldn't quit grasp the meaning of it though it is floating somewhere in my minfd.
    | Posted on 2005-01-11 00:00:00 | by Cigarette Smoke | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh John...so sad and heartbreaking...reminds me of my life not so long ago...Thank God for not living like that anymore...I can breathe ;)
    This is a steady pace to the blurred void of a heart not in connection with the others...pure John...very pure!

    Awsome write...THANK YOU

    Kelly

    and I hope the Merry Seasons smile upon you too
    | Posted on 2004-12-22 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
      wait hold,,, now aplausse i enjoyed ur writeing i hope u conttinue to write mroe liek it, i hope to read more , and im sure i will, ill tty sum other time im gunna check up on u a few tiemas later on good job and great write ttyl
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by obsidiandreams | [ Reply to This ]


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