[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Sheets and Silhouettesdots

    Author: Geremy Smith
    ASL Info:    20/M/Pennsylvania
    Elite Ratio:    5.79 - 171/145/23
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1122
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1058

       Eh I don't feel like describing...it's a poem let it speak to you instead of me speaking for it...enjoy and any feedback is readily welcomed.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSheets and Silhouettesdots

    Cradled in sheets of dismay
    Pull them over my face
    To blot out these shades of anger and grey
    Amber and ashes brush over,
    the blanketed form of silhouetted tears

    As if this (I) need you now
    More like yesterday
    Or every other day,
    spread between and slipping,
    through thorn intoxicated fingers

    Bury a face into the pillow,
    that slowly turns these tears to ash
    Donít wake up
    Just canít pull this away
    Frustration dancing idly upon the brow

    Pencil smashing,
    and the lead spreads like poisonÖ

    Dear Black Goodbye,
    I write this now
    Thanks for the frustration,
    and puppet strung tears
    All the limitation,
    and lies you made me fear
    Donít forget to write

    --The sickened one

    Wake up now
    Maybe itís over
    Just tell meÖĒItís ok to dieĒ
    Keep singing the lullaby
    And now itís overÖ

    ďItís ok to die.Ē

    Submitted on 2004-12-21 09:54:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      awesome poem, it does sound like life not worth it and it does feel like that sometimes,
    The line "it's ok to die" is very strong, and I really think that was a great ending for the poem
    | Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by Fadingperson | [ Reply to This ]
      Wake up now
    Maybe itís over
    Just tell meÖĒItís ok to dieĒ
    Keep singing the lullaby
    And now itís overÖ

    AGH! GOOD GOD! IS IT POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO WRITE A BAD POEM? No...I'll go ahead and answer that for you. God...this stanza like...is exactly the way I feel sometimes. Like I think I've said something like this to someone before actually. In one of my more dark times. God...I like your work...seriously a lot...again. You're Bloody Awesome.
    | Posted on 2004-12-22 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]
      There is a lot of feeling in this...I know what you are going through... The message i see in this is basically suicide...Suicide is for the weak... Suck it up and deal with your problems...I dont mean to sound harsh...But that is the facts... But this is quality stuff here...Good job on this and i will look forward to more from you...
    | Posted on 2004-12-21 00:00:00 | by Exquisite_Death | [ Reply to This ]
      Good write. It sounds like you want to fold, let me tell you folding is not the way to go. You leave behind too many people who need you or that you can help.
    It's a good poem. I feel this on a daily basis. Don't give up...things will get better, it just takes time.

    | Posted on 2004-12-31 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]