Description: I had written this poem before, several years ago, but I did end up losing it (I think). Anyhow, the only lines that remain the same are the first two and the last two. If I find the original (which, I must warn you, is drastically different) I'll post it.
Cry -------------------------------------------
I try to cry but the tears won't come,
I've traded my soul for another one.
This shadow has taken over my life;
It fills my eyes with red
As black seeps into my heart.
I cannot feel the same as before;
I cannot love anyone anymore.
I can succumb to anger;
And I have.
I have surrendered to the
General of Darkness;
Hatred has filled my soul.
I look at this empty pit of a world
Through dark and hooded eyes.
I do not seek what all you seek;
I have become a spy
For what is dark and evil.
This sickness has taken
Over my soul
But it's the sickness
That makes my life feel so full.
Still! I hear a voice at the back of my head
Telling me that I can survive
Without the lust and power
That has creeped into my life.
But what does this voice know? Nothing!
I can handle my own life.
I tried to cry, the tears wouldn't come...
God gave my soul to another one.
first person works in this piece, has an eary effect, i believe your writes have gotten better lately, it would be nice to read the original so I can see how your vision has changed,
neatolicious... hm I don't know it kinda ran together, or maybe that's just my heart rate from having nothing but sugar all morning... anyway it seemed to run pretty fast, it would be nice if the tone could slow down a bit (if I could slow my heart rate down that'd be nice, too...)
This poem should get alot of attention. Its fabulous...yet simplistic, to the point, easy to follow...and lets us in on who you are a little more...We should all throw in a personal piece once in awhile...i have yet to...too nervous ;c)
Submission Name: Cry
