This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

redlights and headlights


Author: bite my lip
ASL Info:    20/f/nc
Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 59 /79 /12
Words: 98
Class/Type: Poetry /Angry
Total Views: 1318
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 666



Description:


it's been awhile.


redlights and headlights



i love the sound of sirens
before the sun comes up.
a beautiful mix of sight and sound.
a play acted beautifully by the red drops
dancing across your face.
standing in the middle of the road,
mcdowell street has never felt so right.

the stars are watching.
they shine on what's left on my windshield with approval.
reflecting a light that makes me appear angelic.
i have the power.
i have control.
well isn't this a change?

you've broken me.
i've broken you.
oh my dear,
the traffic lights look so lovely in your eyes.




Submitted on 2004-12-21 19:01:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  i have always had an odd fixation on cars and roads...and how they can seem almost sexual in the right light...that is way i like this...streets lights add to the feeling...make the moment into a moment...i dont know what else to say...i love it

card
| Posted on 2004-12-23 00:00:00 | by playing card | [ Reply to This ]
  I love the part about you having control now. I can relate to this poem very well. Love is nothing but a control game, and it is sad when one party or the other gives up realizing that something precious has been lost. This is a sad poem, but I like it very much.

The theme of the lights and the title is very appropriate.

Good Job...

Indigo
| Posted on 2004-12-21 00:00:00 | by Indigo Kid | [ Reply to This ]
  Very dramatic and has a lot of impact. It is very direct that made this poem so effective to the reader... though I think you may want to check on consistency of grammar. Keep it up.
| Posted on 2004-12-21 00:00:00 | by solitary_cross | [ Reply to This ]
  Now thats wat im talking about! Real paaion and a real poem. *sigh* talent you have there. I'm so tired of all the direct at-your-heart stuff. Conngrats. Definately a fave of mine. Go for it. I like this one.
| Posted on 2004-12-21 00:00:00 | by thesacredone | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



38850