Cities of sand
grew into a metropolis of glass
that shattered in a meteor shower.
Broken dreams and flaming craters
decorated a painted desert
whose colors bled
when hit by a lawn sprinkler
until a blank canvas sat on an easel
amongst the lizards and cactii
somewhere in Arizona.
Ok so I loved the images and I will tell you why. The colored land images that found there way into my head reminded me of the spanish country side. Such unequaled arrays of color as you drive by from city to city. The brown, greens, red, and yellows, all sewn together with the blue sky fading in the backround. Such a site my heart yearns to see once more. Thank you for painting that in my head. I really can't say much more because outside of that I dont quite know what to make of this piece. Though I must say you certainly showed talent in the way you used the blank canvas that was my mind before I read this piece. I am interested in what spawned the piece. Im sorry I feel like this is a b/s comment, but I wanted to let you know what went through my head after reading it. Take care-John
Love how the sand turned to glass then shattered...great continuation of theme. Gotta say I wasn't too thrilled with two word choices. "Colors bled" and "broken dreams"...just heard those phrases quite often...for such an original piece...those stood out as "done"...ya know?
I can see the pictures fly through my mind and it happens in time lapse photography. I like it and the image is the poem. If I were naming it, I think I would call it "Dali Paints the Desert"or use painted desert in the title. I glad to read something surreal, thanks. Hope you're feeling better too. Nan
This is sort of surreal. The whole blend of colors hitting the lawn sprinkler, that was good! How do you come up with things like that? : ) You are very talented. I like the ending. That they were scattered somewhere in Arizona. You really added unique visuals in this. I'm glad you posted this. The title is great. I love titles. This one throws the ideas out at the reader. Great job. -blt
I lived in Phoenix for 14 years and nowhere can you go where you don't find desert landscapes painted and hanging when all you have to do is look out the window and see it for yourself in al it's glory.
This is a wonderful bit of writing. Each line carries forward seemlessly into the next like one well though out sentence.
I can see that canvas blank and expectant. Waiting for the muted hues of desert to make it breathe.
I think painters are so facinated with the landscapes in Arizona because they change so much within minutes. The changing positions of the sun and clouds can make the same scene look entirely different.
This is a really neat poem cuddledumplin... I like the way you write, you bring life out of mere words and the readers can vision a colorful picture from your poetry. Great job girl! Keep it up! Happy Holidays!