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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Flaming, Broken, Painted, Blankdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 49
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 867
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 342



    Description:
       I'm in a surreal mood, and I haven't submitted anything in a couple of days.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFlaming, Broken, Painted, Blankdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Cities of sand
    grew into a metropolis of glass
    that shattered in a meteor shower.
    Broken dreams and flaming craters
    decorated a painted desert
    whose colors bled
    when hit by a lawn sprinkler
    until a blank canvas sat on an easel
    amongst the lizards and cactii
    somewhere in Arizona.




    Submitted on 2004-12-22 00:47:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Your sense of Arizona is great - I've lived here 14 years. I like the idea of sand becoming glass and then being shattered by cosmic forces, makes me feel the transience of our lives. - Jim
    | Posted on 2011-10-16 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      heyyyy, tooootally dont get this but its awesome. i love the poems that have some hidden meaning that only the writer really understands, especially if im the writer :)

    [[Decorated a painted desert
    Whose colors bled]]

    definately my favorite lines. i cant find a single thing wrong with this. damn good job :)
    sophie
    | Posted on 2005-01-27 00:00:00 | by sudie | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok so I loved the images and I will tell you why. The colored land images that found there way into my head reminded me of the spanish country side. Such unequaled arrays of color as you drive by from city to city. The brown, greens, red, and yellows, all sewn together with the blue sky fading in the backround. Such a site my heart yearns to see once more. Thank you for painting that in my head. I really can't say much more because outside of that I dont quite know what to make of this piece. Though I must say you certainly showed talent in the way you used the blank canvas that was my mind before I read this piece. I am interested in what spawned the piece. Im sorry I feel like this is a b/s comment, but I wanted to let you know what went through my head after reading it. Take care-John
    | Posted on 2004-12-30 00:00:00 | by Mithrandir | [ Reply to This ]
      That was a fun little trip down surreal street.

    Love how the sand turned to glass then shattered...great continuation of theme.
    Gotta say I wasn't too thrilled with two word choices.
    "Colors bled" and "broken dreams"...just heard those phrases quite often...for such an original piece...those stood out as "done"...ya know?
    | Posted on 2004-12-27 00:00:00 | by marysunshine | [ Reply to This ]
      that was a great surreal trip. nice vsuals. you lead us in another world here, a very colorful one. the title is really interesting. it rises attention. very well done, Amy.
    | Posted on 2004-12-23 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      That was surreal enough! I felt like I left the ordinary world for a minute and took an amazingly impossible tripÖ Itís a wonder what you can do with words. Really liked the last three lines.
    | Posted on 2004-12-23 00:00:00 | by Judy | [ Reply to This ]
      I can see the pictures fly through my mind and it happens in time lapse photography. I like it and the image is the poem. If I were naming it, I think I would call it "Dali Paints the Desert"or use painted desert in the title. I glad to read something surreal, thanks.
    Hope you're feeling better too.
    Nan
    | Posted on 2004-12-22 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      Thanx for your previous comments glad you enjoyed my thoughts.another great write from you you cast a great picture here in a few words great piece
    sandman
    | Posted on 2004-12-22 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      This is sort of surreal. The whole blend of colors hitting the lawn sprinkler, that was good! How do you come up with things like that? : ) You are very talented. I like the ending. That they were scattered somewhere in Arizona. You really added unique visuals in this. I'm glad you posted this. The title is great. I love titles. This one throws the ideas out at the reader. Great job.
    -blt
    | Posted on 2004-12-22 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      I lived in Phoenix for 14 years and nowhere can you go where you don't find desert landscapes painted and hanging when all you have to do is look out the window and see it for yourself in al it's glory.

    This is a wonderful bit of writing. Each line carries forward seemlessly into the next like one well though out sentence.

    I can see that canvas blank and expectant. Waiting for the muted hues of desert to make it breathe.

    I think painters are so facinated with the landscapes in Arizona because they change so much within minutes. The changing positions of the sun and clouds can make the same scene look entirely different.

    I loved this poem. Truly so.
    | Posted on 2004-12-22 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      this is almost a little too surreal for me this morning! it is very colorful, though, and i could see the painted desert you speak of. i've been to Arizona, and the desert is very surreal, actually.
    | Posted on 2004-12-22 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      now that is a wonderful and genuine way of expression , very well done and never stop writing your thoughts , you have a unique way and that is wonderful , good work :)
    | Posted on 2004-12-22 00:00:00 | by Tarek Refaat | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really neat poem cuddledumplin... I like the way you write, you bring life out of mere words and the readers can vision a colorful picture from your poetry. Great job girl! Keep it up!
    Happy Holidays!

    -P1
    | Posted on 2004-12-22 00:00:00 | by psycho_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      beautiful imagery. In my mind I find images of nature being swallowed in the growing populus of man and towers being erected where trees once stood. beautiful
    | Posted on 2005-01-04 00:00:00 | by cainboy | [ Reply to This ]


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