Where are you taking me? by rocknpoetrychik

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Submission Name: Where are you taking me? dots

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Author:	rocknpoetrychik
ASL Info:	20/Female/Someplace
Elite Ratio:	4.06 - 331/281/44
Words:	92

Class/Type:	Poetry/Serious
Total Views:	414
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	622

Description:
I recently broke up with my boyfriend. It was a good decision because we weren't right for eachother. I still feel bad because I don't like hurting anyone. Things have been going very well since I have parted from him. But I hope he is doing well and that has been on my mind. I know I took the road less traveled and I feel free because of it. But I still have that part of me that says "did you make the right decision?" to which I reply everytime "HELL YES I DID NOW SHUT UP!!!" haha.. being a chronic overthinker is not always fun.. but anyhow.. i threw this one out to my paper and now to you.. so like it hate it whatever but your comments are much appreciated.
~*~amber~*~

Where are you taking me? dots

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Acid eating at the lining,
Tears seem to rise from the throat,
Bathing in all that had occured,
Swimming in the lust of a kiss,
Everything seemed so simple,
Complexity realized too late,
Sitting in quite contemplation,
Resting on the thought of my fate,
What Frost said about the road less taken,
Leaves me with images shaken,
I took the road less traveled,
This is my life unraveled,
Rhyme scheme lost in the moment,
Of writing thoughts scattered to the ground,
Pick up the pieces of poetry,
I left them lying around

Submitted on 2004-12-23 13:27:18 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Ya readin your work is a little like sittin down
and talkin 2 someone. (It has that effect). I wish I had dumped my 1st wife long before I had married her. That would of been the smart
thing 2 do. But ............It was what it was.

Joshua
| Posted on 2006-12-01 00:00:00 | by ooononotthatguy | [ Reply to This ]
  Very good but I bet it hurt writing it? Well I hope your feeling better now and keep up the great poetry. Feeling help you writ better right?
| Posted on 2005-10-27 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
  I enjoyed this poem though it was at your emotional expense. I particularly liked the following lines:

"Swimming in the lust of a kiss,
Everything seemed so simple,
Complexity realized too late,
Sitting in quite contemplation,"

Those lines seem to sum up the issues well. We are often swept in the emotions of a kiss, and find out later the rest of the story. Our lives begin to mutate and become more complex. Then after the confusion we sit in contemplation. I found that the poem was real to me.
I further enjoyed your reference to writings left. We all write about our experiences in love. But what do you do with them once you move on?

Thank you for this poem.
Smiles
PS I hope you have found a special someone that will be there in heart and soul.
| Posted on 2005-07-29 00:00:00 | by Traveller | [ Reply to This ]
  i really injoyed this one, although your relation to it and mine may be two different thoughts, i liked your relation to poetry within the poem, Frost, i love that guy, you did good with that rhyme with him, and with it all, you write is very well formed and speaks tons to the ear that listens, (wonder if i should start reading other's feedback :)) anyways just looking through your poems since you invited, i like what ive seen so far.
| Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by fallenone | [ Reply to This ]
  I liked how the beginning was about the emotions and the end was about the effects of the emotions on your writing. a nice twist. but i know what you mean about the right thing to do. i've had to, and still am dealing with it right now. lucky me huh? nice job hun.
| Posted on 2005-01-22 00:00:00 | by Butterfly Bullets | [ Reply to This ]
  My, my -Miss Amber... what sharp words you have delivered, unto an audience, so unexpecting! A compilation of thoughts, of memoirs... An enchanting arrangement of imagery, combined with an experimental rhyming scheme! Unique, as always, dearest -Amber. I rather enjoyed the wit which came with the reference to Robert Frost, and his well known poem -the road less taken... yes, dearest... an intriguing piece.
-Miss Snow White.
| Posted on 2004-12-26 00:00:00 | by Romanticist | [ Reply to This ]
  The title led in a different direction than where the poem went, but that's just me. i dig this, ma. how many times have we tortued ourselves over the opposite sex. gender is a barrier i've yet to transverse. wierd [censored]. ~P
| Posted on 2005-08-23 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]
  First let me say, you did the right thing to break up with your b/f, because you are happy.

You wrote a good piece here, because you use metaphors to tell your angst, not whining repetitive words, good job
| Posted on 2004-12-23 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
  well i'll start here, did you mean acrued, occured, or aquired, when u said accured? all could fit in some ways. and i didnt really like the counciousness of the loss of ryme scheme, i mean it seems like it cant be lost in the moment if it is. but aside from that your emotions where expressed clearly, and all around not to bad.
| Posted on 2004-12-23 00:00:00 | by Skillessbasterd | [ Reply to This ]
  This was good. There was a good rhythm going on in this piece that made me capture the poem itself even more. It is hard going through a break-up situation. There is always going to be feelings invloved even if you know it is for the best. I hope all turns out well. Continue writing.

ALicia
| Posted on 2004-12-23 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
  Ams, I loved this one. I love all of your stuff, but maybe it's because I have a biast opinion seeing as you are my sis. The flow was something to be truely recognized. Your poems are always easy on the eyes and bring about interesting thoughts. Great work yet again oh master of the pen! LOL
*Amanda*
| Posted on 2005-01-10 00:00:00 | by fortressofwords | [ Reply to This ]
  This thought provoking poem is delivered with great style and imagination. There are quite a few things to say about love and they are normally done through watered down clichés... not so with your poem... there is a freshness to the words and a clear understanding of how the decision was made and the consequences it now has. I love the line: "Complexity realized too late" - brilliantly written.
| Posted on 2005-01-04 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]

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