This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

It's All Jello...


Author: painofthanatos
Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 684 /571 /86
Words: 133
Class/Type: Poetry /What you did
Total Views: 710
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 977



Description:




It's All Jello...



"I've seen the way he looks at you"
"Take a chance"
"You've got nothing to lose"
But, oh, she was so wrong.
I've lost it all.
I confess my love as you struggle to listen
You're stoned once again.
Go figure.
"I really like you" I say
"I figured this much" you respond
Then you go off on a tangent about a fly
You say you don't care about me
At least not how I care about you
"Whatever"
"It's all jello"
Only it's like melted jello
Sliding down the drain
Taking with it
The blood spilt to relieve my pain
"Try again"
"He didn't know what he was saying"
"Trust me, he wants you"
Trust me- HE DOESN'T
You don't have to be sober
To know you don't love me...




Submitted on 2004-12-24 11:03:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  it is wonderful piece of poetry but believe it or not the use of quotation marks seems to mar the overall effect a bit. i mean it seems overdone...sorry if i said something wrong but thats how i feel-rhythm-and all are perfect
gud write
cheers
| Posted on 2004-12-24 00:00:00 | by poetofaustralia | [ Reply to This ]
  well, truth comes out when you are "on" something. and being stoned doesn't really affect you that much especially if he does it alot. eventually it becomes apart of his life and it's just there for the mental issue of it, not the effects. i am sorry this person doesn't return these feelings, but give it time, he may.**
| Posted on 2005-01-04 00:00:00 | by _winky_ | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



39185