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    dots Submission Name: Chemistrydots

    Author: srcastic1
    ASL Info:    18/F/IA
    Elite Ratio:    6.29 - 96/97/28
    Words: 120
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 717
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 870

       I sort of surprised myself when I wrote this, maybe because I don't usually write things I like all of a sudden in 10 minutes flat. But I had a little inspiration. By the way, if you want to know more about this guy, read my other most recent post on this site "Untitled", he wrote that for me. Anyway, this poem is in sort of an unusual format, so let me know what you think about it all.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    What do these emotions mean?
    I try to study and arrange them.
    I attempt to elude and contain them,
    Yet they taunt me still.
    What is the formula of this emoted flu?
    What's causing my faintness at your curious stare?
    What's keeping me awake at night
    Wishing you were there?
    That same virus containing endorphins
    which cause me to feel like I'm floating,
    my bright smile gloating,
    willing to boast that it just spoke to you.
    There is a scientific explanation:
    Friendship mixed with complication
    (Physical and mental attraction)
    Followed by certain extraction
    Of other romantic variables.
    Splice in the prospect of finding love anew.
    The diagnosis is easy to construe.
    In layman's terms, I think I'm falling for you.

    Submitted on 2004-12-24 12:51:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i like it i like it a lot...it' slike you found intersting and new cool ways to express how you're feeling and in the end you just come out and say it...it's great...
    | Posted on 2004-12-25 00:00:00 | by passion4poetry | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem is really interesting, I found in it many things that really worth being mentioned.

    The first thing I noticed was the emotions in this poem, I mean this poem is so full of emotions like Admiring, Confusion,and may be even Love!

    The second thing I noticed was the amazing idea of the scientific explanation;

    "There is a scientific explanation:
    Friendship mixed with complication
    (Physical and mental attraction)
    Followed by certain extraction
    Of other romantic variables."

    This is very original, I haven't seen such smart idea before, but liked they say "There's always a first time for everything" and that was mine!

    The third thing I noticed was your description, as you said you wrote it in 10 minutes, well that's so great, I mean when inspiration hits the writer like this, that's so good.

    The fourth and last thing I noticed is you beautiful finale

    "Splice in the prospect of finding love anew.
    The diagnosis is easy to construe.
    In layman's terms, Steve, I'm falling for you."

    Very beautiful ending indeed.

    Anyway I hope that my comment was somehow helpful and Good luck and keep it up.
    | Posted on 2004-12-24 00:00:00 | by Yousef | [ Reply to This ]
    i liked it. the science theme is a good idea but i don't think that this makes this piece very romantic. but thts ok. it sounds more light hearted to me. and thts kl. i was thinking, myself, bout writing something like this but i never got round to it... .oh well.. :p

    i also like the random ryhming sceme - i think it was very fitting for this sort of poem.

    nice write
    love anoutia
    | Posted on 2004-12-24 00:00:00 | by Clementina oso | [ Reply to This ]
      sweet... sounded like a recipe for a love affair. i'm glad you have found something good like this. you do mention a flu and a virus, though, and that doesn't sound too pleasant, although i know what you mean by it. it's a good kind of "sickness..."

    | Posted on 2005-01-09 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      very nice write, i like the sceintific method u approached. very interesting.
    the rhyming was great, and the whole poem was great.
    keep up the good work
    much love koolspirit
    | Posted on 2005-01-09 00:00:00 | by bilal anaim | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah love one of the most precoius elusive things anyone can have. "Its funny when i was 16 i had the exact same experience with love but it kinda went out a little. well to tell u the truth I really enjoyed your poem it was as if you knew you were in love yet denied it all together. this kid must be something special if he can manage to sweep a poet of her feet. Well i must go but i hope you can comment on my work i think you would enjoy "For Rachel" let just say 16 was when it all started well ill read more of your work bye
    Medieval Aztec
    | Posted on 2005-01-10 00:00:00 | by Medieval Aztec | [ Reply to This ]

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