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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Invisibledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ForsakenAngel
    ASL Info:    19/F/Arkansas
    Elite Ratio:    6.37 - 147/73/18
    Words: 130
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 924
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 748



    Description:
       I am not really looking for anything specific, just what you guys/ girls think of my writting. Hint to you readers: This is me we are talking about in this, this is how I feel/ am most of the time. If you must know I am really a depressed person most of the time with good reason.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsInvisibledots
    -------------------------------------------


    Look around, but do not see
    the person that she might be.
    No one knows that she is present,
    everyone just ignores her soft and gentle speech.
    Would anyone miss her,
    if she were gone?
    Would they even notice?
    Maybe someone,
    No.. No... no one would even care.
    It's better off,
    they are better off,
    the world is better off if she weren't here.

    People may look, but do they see,
    can they see her pain, of course not.
    She isn't there only a figment really,
    just a blimish in everyones day to day lives.
    She is like the wind or the sad song of the rain,
    there but unseen, unheard, she is invisible.




    Submitted on 2004-12-27 23:49:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This reminds me of how I feel. I bet Sarah (sorry, you don't know her) could relate even better then I though. I feel so bad for her and what my good friend is going through. I almost killed her dad, but that is as always another story. I liked the poem, it had a half rythem and half rhyming thing going on, I liked that. I hate not being able to rhym, makes me feel like my dad. I take a lot from my dad, his spelling, his handwriting, I really need to work at those. Well, thinks for writing, I think I really am going to go work on my hand writing and stuff now. Talk to you later!
    | Posted on 2005-02-14 00:00:00 | by TDALBH | [ Reply to This ]
      Man, this brings me back to my days in high school. None of my friends were in any of my classes (and I have A LOT of friends) so I just didn't talk to anyone. Eventually I felt like I didn't even exist to the kids I had to see every day, it was like I was just there, and that was it. I would watch everyone talk and laugh and all that right in front of me, but I was so far detached, I felt like I was watching it all from tv or something. I just felt like I didn't actually exist to anyone there, I was like a ghost. I thought no one could see or hear me, I was "unseen, unheard, invisible", as you said.
    When I finally got out of that hellhole, though, it turns out that a lot of people there miss me. So maybe you feel this way all the time, but there are actually people that care about you. There are a lot more people out there who feel the same way you do, you just don't know it. Finding out who they are is the hard part, but if you try, you'll find them one day. Just don't think that you don't matter to anyone, because that is NEVER the case. No matter what, there is always someone who cares about you. Another great work of art, buddy! Cheers!
    | Posted on 2005-01-14 00:00:00 | by Apocalyptica | [ Reply to This ]
      Its a great write, its very easy to relate to. the only that bugs me about it, is it needs to be put into lines, but thats just me. great write.

    Rain
    | Posted on 2004-12-28 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]
      Thanks I edited it and yeah it does look better that way. I liked your writting is was really good and I think that other people should read it as well. Eveyone go and read black_joker1292's stuff please.
    | Posted on 2004-12-28 00:00:00 | by ForsakenAngel | [ Reply to This ]
      interesting...every good write.i know i can relate to it and so can most people my age.next time,spell "noone" like "no one" ok? other than that,good write.
    | Posted on 2004-12-28 00:00:00 | by black_joker1292 | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm, reading poetry like this always makes me feel sad. i can never stand to see someone else feeling alone or depressed, i feel like i need to do something to help them, you know? to make them feel happy...so i guess what im saying is i actually really liked it as a poem. it was deep, touching, and it brought out emotions in me, which is what poetry is supposed to do right? but just try to be cheerful, because life is good, because you're alive...i know things can get hard, believe me, but you matter to a lot of people, and people love you i know that. so, be happy!
    | Posted on 2005-02-24 00:00:00 | by trmbngrl | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this piece i think its really good though at the end invisible is spelt wrong but its not about the gramatical errors that i decided to comment about. I really enjoyed it and it made me think of myself especialy in my last relationship where i would go out of my way to make sure she was having a good time but when we went out in public i had better hope i meet one of my friends bc her friends were there and i was invisible to her, the girl i gave everything to. Anyway good work loved it.

    Chon
    | Posted on 2005-01-10 00:00:00 | by xPoetxBoyx | [ Reply to This ]


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