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    dots Submission Name: Dream of a White Shipdots

    Author: DevilDinosaur
    ASL Info:    28/M/MR American
    Elite Ratio:    6.53 - 293/197/46
    Words: 782
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1287
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 5012

       A little journey through fantasy land in which a man learns that things that aren't broken should not be fixed. Oh, and thank you for the inspiration Mr. Lovecraft.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDream of a White Shipdots

    Dream of a White Ship
    A white sail knifes through thirty-foot waves
    In the center of the winter storm's wrath.
    Ten men had died, taken over the side,
    Since the ship had been blown from its path.
    Now Captain LeFaut of the ill-fated craft
    Commands his crew to stand fast.
    For he knows very well they'll be trapped in this hell
    If they fail to rescue the mast.

    And the Dear Juliet is swept into strange waters,
    Passing through the storm's very heart,
    And as the winds die the ship comes to lie
    In a sea on no navigator's chart,
    And in this odd place where the vessel has landed,
    A fear grips the hearts of the crew:
    That they'll never return, though none voice this concern,
    From the place that they'd come to.

    The sea there shined the color of gold,
    And the sun shared the sky with the moon,
    And foreign beaches beamed bright white,
    Glittering like diamond strung dunes.
    The waters had calmed beneath the craft,
    And before long a port was spied.
    So the Dear Juliet set to harbor at last,
    To mourn those men who had died.

    Lefaut and his crew beheld this new land
    Which the storm had borne them to.
    It was the city Than, the first known by man,
    And visitors there were few.
    Its towering spires were brushed by clouds,
    And its streets were paved in jade.
    For this was the city of wonders and myths,
    Where legends and dreams were made.

    And from the people there they heard many tales,
    A thousand if not more.
    They heard tales of heroes, monsters and scoundrels,
    And princes raised up from the poor.
    Lefaut was told, in perfect detail,
    Of Troy's fall from a wooden horse,
    And of the lonely Grendel's desires,
    Cut off by the swords of the Norse.

    He also learned of the city of cats,
    Where the shifting sands had blown,
    And of the murdered Caliph?s son,
    Whose forty thieves reclaimed his throne.
    Then he was told of an isle to the north,
    Sona-Nyl, the most blessed land.
    Which rested beneath a crystal arch,
    On a bed of silver sand.

    So the crew set out for Sona-Nyl,
    And their voyage was calm all told.
    Neither a foul wind rose nor a single rain fell
    As they sailed that sea of gold,
    And soon they passed through the crystal arch,
    Reaching that mythical place,
    And each would swear that never before
    Had a land been so touched by god's grace.

    For in Sona-Nyl, death was unknown,
    Famine and war had no hold.
    And in that place time stood still,
    So that none grew sick nor old.
    There they stayed for many a year
    In pastures and fields of green,
    Sleeping on beds of the softest flowers
    And drinking from violet streams.

    With each vista crested by the crew
    A new world of wonder was found.
    In one place, leaves blew like musical chimes.
    In another, soft silk was the ground.
    The natives there knew only of love,
    And they opened their homes to the men,
    Healing their hearts and lifting their souls,
    Absolving each of his sin.

    From these people Lefaut then learned
    Of Cathur, the land of the west.
    Which no man had seen, even in dream,
    And in his heart there stirred unrest.
    Each brave step that his crew had taken
    Had led to a more wondrous land,
    And so he resolved that again they would sail
    'Til they slept on Cathur's sand

    So he gathered his crew to sail once again,
    And they set out the very next day.
    On the golden sea they drifted west,
    Away from the land of the Fey.
    For two full months they held their course,
    'Til they reached the Wall of Mist
    And each man felt its cold embrace
    As their skin it lightly kissed.

    Lefaut then spied through the fog's dark heart
    The basalt cliffs of Cathur,
    And each man bade him turn back then
    From the fear the mist had abjured,
    And between the cliffs rose a deafening roar
    The water 'neath the ship now was black
    And flowed furiously forward pulling them on,
    And they new they could never turn back.

    And Lefaut looked on as the ocean gave way,
    Falling from the edge of the earth
    Into the blank white void of oblivion,
    From which nothingness knew its birth.
    As they slipped from the world Lefaut and his men
    Knew what it was that they faced.
    They screamed as one as all ceased to be,
    And from the mind of the world were erased.

    Submitted on 2004-03-23 12:02:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      You really do have a gift in writing.. I was so caught up, from beginning to end. Good moral story. Always wanting more..ending up with nothing.
    The 8th stanza was lovely.. the last two lines especially. They should never have left that place :)
    An enjoyable read!

    Take Care!
    | Posted on 2005-04-04 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I am once again taken along on this wonderful journey and viewed the sights of jeweled cities that should satisfy any man's wandering spirit. But, in each city they learn of new places, even greater beauty. They are doomed by their own need to reach greater perfection.

    This piece contains an excellent moral. The folly of man and his neverending quest for happiness..The grass is not always greener...
    | Posted on 2004-07-20 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      AWESOME! that was soo great. it was so good that i didn't even notice the length, which is weird cos i usually don't stick with long poems, they're a little boring. but this one was AMAZING! i'm going to go read all your other stuff now. for me, the punctuation stuff didn't even mess it up. very cool. very very cool. have a nice day!
    ~ anabel
    | Posted on 2004-04-12 00:00:00 | by purple dinosaur | [ Reply to This ]
      sob sob how could you delete it? I went to read it again and its gone gone --thats how i wound up here again. Silver
    | Posted on 2004-04-06 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      Super Duper! I was hoping you would write another in this style, I loved the Bayou one, and was just reading it in faves and decided to pay you a visit...with so many new people, it's easy to lose track of some. This rocks--can't really think of anything except thansk---and sometime do a brief edit for those niggling little errors already mentioned by others. Love it to pieces, silver
    | Posted on 2004-04-06 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      Whoooooee! That was COOL! And, thanks, Niphredil, I knew it reminded me of something! (As did No. 4 Mine, btw - also shades of Sam Mcgee). This one, I think, was a touch better than the other... very detailed, clear story, and MAN what a moral! Your R&R structure was also much more consistant here. Not strict, by any means, but the deviations weren't distracting at all, which means they're fine! Excellent work! <><
    | Posted on 2004-03-29 00:00:00 | by WorththeWait | [ Reply to This ]
      It had the rhythm of "The Cremation Of Sam McGee". Good write. Good imagery. The length worked.

    ~ Niphredil
    | Posted on 2004-03-23 00:00:00 | by Niphredil | [ Reply to This ]

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