Sarah's Six Teardrops by Paconess1006

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Submission Name: Sarah's Six Teardrops dots

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Author:	Paconess1006
ASL Info:	16/M/Charlotte, NC
Elite Ratio:	3.11 - 99/126/46
Words:	230

Class/Type:	Poetry/Longing
Total Views:	349
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1861

Description:
I wrote this for a fiend of mine who told her dream when her and her boyfriend were fated to leave, but at the same moment she was destined to fly. Its an odd thing.

Sarah's Six Teardrops dots

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Sarah's Six Teardrops
( Things Change )

Six lonely tear drops cover this page

of a dream I once had . . .

He said he thinks he doesn't love me, this is bad,

I turned his head to me, whilst I was in this daze

He tried to push me away,

He knew I wouldn't let him do so.

He also knew he couldn't resist, this of all days

but in the midst of all this, he tried to let me know

He said, Sarah, Things change...

My eyes grew wet and blurry,

my chest heaved in a struggle for air.

Again he said I don't love you, in a hurry

and a rush of drops fell down like as one lonely pair

He said, I'm not sure I ever really did

and as I fell, he tried his last sweetest goodbye

But I didn't hear it, I was trying to catch him again, I didn't

as i lay there, motionless, I learned how to fly

Not fast enough, but it sounds enough strange

In my head echo these words, "Sarah, Things change..."

Submitted on 2004-12-29 13:50:27 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
  I'm a Sarah myself. It is beautiful and sad. I loved the way the words flowed together. The rhythm was beautiful. I thibk I have a new addition to my favorites. Keep writing.
Blessed Be!
| Posted on 2005-02-11 00:00:00 | by Sarah Leger | [ Reply to This ]
  Agh. What? Is everyone writing about what happened to me last night. Good grief...the wound reopens..

Anyways, to the poem. As a whole beings as I relate to it and you seemed to capture everything I felt in such a ... excruciatingly realistic way...its awesome. Its going to the favorites because of it. I might even send it to him. Who knows.
~BCute
| Posted on 2005-01-04 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]
  Perhaps their time was up and he realized it before she did. At least he was trying to be gentle, and yes, unfortunate for all of us things do change. I really hope she learned to fly.
It sounded like she was trying anyway. I'm just not getting that one part of the line, but it sounds enough strange, did you mean "it sounds strange enough". Good write, none the less.
| Posted on 2004-12-29 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
  *ouch* Simple but really effective! Guys can be such @$$e$ sometimes.

*Six lonely tear drops cover this page
of a dream I once had . . .
He said he thinks he doesn't love me, this is bad *

My favorite lines!
| Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by Maverique | [ Reply to This ]
  how is saying I dont think I ever loved you, trying to be gentle? lol man if that is gentle thank goodness he wasn't brutally honest.

I liked this piece, it didnt flow as smoothly as maybe it could have (?) but it was something that I think most readers will be able to relate to.

this one is going on my favs.
| Posted on 2004-12-29 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
  I really loved this poem. I'm not a Sarah, but my friend is. I feel as though I'm watching a old lover of mine, Jason was his name. Leaving me because, and I quote, "I love you to much to fall in love with you." Oh I was pissed at him, but I pretend that everything is alright now, cause I cant stand the though of loosing him as a friend.
| Posted on 2005-01-09 00:00:00 | by TDALBH | [ Reply to This ]
  I know when we leave comments we are supposed to get in depth and suggest improvements etc but with this piece what I want to say the most is that I can totally relate. Mainly because of the descriptions used but also because I am called Sarah, this may sound really starnge but it feels as if this has been written for me.
The only thing I will say is that the line;
"Not fast enough, but it sounds enough strange"
doesn't really make sense, maybe you could explain it for me?? Great write though and I am sorry for the pain your friend has had to go through, I know it only too well.
| Posted on 2004-12-29 00:00:00 | by Star_searcher | [ Reply to This ]
  there are no words for how i feel.
my name is sarah, and i've felt that feeling. never been able to write about it, but you did it for me. thank you
| Posted on 2004-12-30 00:00:00 | by darkwisdom623 | [ Reply to This ]

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