I had a recent discussion with a friend, we basically talked about whether all human actions are on a base level are selfish....we both agreed they were not but he played devil's advocate and i had to prove otherwise.
I tried using a scale to explain how some actions are not selfish, if you give up more than what you gain out of doing something then the act has to be unselfish. If you make a sacrifice well then your being unselfish....selfishness is all about gain, where being unselfish is all about loss, even hurt and anguish at times, but above all its hope and love.
I tried to use love as the ultimate unselfishness....sure you gain a lot, the affection of another, the warmth of their hand in yours and an open heart with a smile. That is exactly where the unselfish factor comes in though, the open heart, you sacrifice all that you are to the one person, you donít keep secrets (white lies are of course always fine ), you don't hide who you are, you just be yourself...giving up that barrier between you and your ego will scare the hell out of you, your shell, your protection is gone and your left in the hands of another. That is the joy of it though, is it not? They in turn do the same with you; you share in the unselfishness, the wonder, the joy that is the joining of hearts and souls. Please don't always expect the one you love though to do it at the same time as you do though, thatís all part of the challenge love sets before you, the gauntlet you run in trying to break through another's barrier and enter their heart. Yes you will come across some adversity, even rejection, it happens and you move on, but don't seal your heart in the process.
Loving ain't easy and no one ever said it was, except maybe fairy tales, but Iím still of the opinion there is someone out there for each of us, a kindred spirit, a soul mate, a wildflower growing in our hearts, while we wish on the stars above and dream on of Venice, castles, cabins and woods...
Alls fair in love and war, your going to take a few casualties along the way, it's a given, but the unselfish risk you open yourself to of falling in love, it is going to be worth it, even if circumstances break your heart, love doesn't shatter so easily, it's quite a durable thing no matter what. If your heart is kept away from what it seeks, don't give up on it, time works things out, slowly but surely.
Love hmm is all the promises you make from the cradle to the grave, when all I want is you (i love this line from u2), it sums it up well...so if you find your special someone wherever they may be, hold them dear.