Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Suicidedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raven_s Miser
    ASL Info:    16-female- wap
    Elite Ratio:    4.64 - 68/54/18
    Words: 426
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 822
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2229



    Description:
       
    My poem is about many hardships that may happen due to a small or that of a major mis-hab.It shows that the character has realized the mistakes of others but has not yet to begin to understand the mistake she is about to make.
    She wants an appology but would rather be rash and walk away from the problem because that is how she saw it as a child and now as a adult that in her mind is the only way to handle the problem( referring to her father walking away from her mother). Now she doesn't want pitty or sorrow but just to stop everything that she can't handle even if she did or didn't start it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSuicidedots
    -------------------------------------------


    dark secrets amongst the lies
    today would be the perfect day to die
    Don't look down oops it's to late today I shall test my fate.
    A final fall or a crawl of shame.
    Don't cry you put me up to this and now I hope you don't think I won't go throught with it.
    I feel that I will meet my doom and to me it applies that I will encounter it very soon.
    I have nothing to live for nothing to gain.
    The pain will die in an instant for it was only a freak incodent.
    Suicide I will and shall die today and no I won't have it any other way.
    To be set free of the pain you gave.
    Yo live my life my own way
    I won't slave to you from day to day.
    I stand atop the light lit city, waiting for you to push me.
    You made me come this far so seal the deal.
    You won't push so i won't jump.
    Are you scared now because I feel there is nothing to fear, and thus there is nothing to keep me here.

    I hold in my hand the sanity I once had.
    I cannot stan this life of lies and injustice anymore.
    For a final farewell you can tell mother good-bye and father nothing at all.
    For all others you will see whats left of me when they lay me down to rest.
    I won't hold back I won't resist.
    You can pick me up and put me down but as of now I know I will and shall have the last laugh.
    What it is that you were to say was said in vain. And for that i cannot take that all away but I still can pray that it all will change, that you willl change.
    Change because therefore you won't be there to see what you have come to be.

    if to kill oneself is a sin than i have wrong.
    But in my life I have been to do as I believe and because of that I shall now do as I please

    Leave me here to bleed.
    I won't see tomorrow or the artificial sorrow that you had lead me to believe is how you used to feel for me.
    Forgive me god for I have sinned. But as of then my story was just about to begin. But I myself am done forever more and I have left to be seen no more.

    samantha renaud




    Submitted on 2004-12-30 16:14:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Don't look down oops it's to late today I shall test my fate.

    this line was my favourite, kind of- not amusing but you know the whole line somehow popped up from the rest of the poem. I like it, though.
    it was a beutiful poem, very easy to relate. it was floating, though I found the rhyming a bit boring, it's just so usual. maybe, like fadedsilence said, it rambles, near loosing the point but always finds it again. a long suicide-letter, really. in style "haha, I did it, no-one expected that, huh?" maybe I should read it a few times over, 'cos now I was left with a waaaay too positive image. or not positive, but kind of-amused.

    but still, it was good written;>
    | Posted on 2005-01-23 00:00:00 | by _taateli_ | [ Reply to This ]
      this piece of writing tells a very very relatable story to many and lots of people out there-in the end though I personally did not feel connected to the poem. Sorry to sound maybe harsh but to me this piece is not bad but not the greatest.

    Welcome to Elite.
    | Posted on 2004-12-30 00:00:00 | by Raksha | [ Reply to This ]
      This piece kind of rambles, i think it would help better with more ounctuation..the rhyme and rythm was okay and the flow was good..but like i siad it rambles a bit..good write
    | Posted on 2004-12-30 00:00:00 | by FadedSilence | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    39869

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry