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    dots Submission Name: Sin or Seductiondots

    Author: D.Johnson p.s.a
    ASL Info:    17/F/TX
    Elite Ratio:    2.91 - 45/59/15
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 916
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 906

       I wrote this poem last night. It really doesn't have any motive behind it but I was feeling the moment and the words just kept flowing.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSin or Seductiondots

    My flow is hypnotic
    I watch him as he dances about the club
    all I hear is the pumpin music

    Im with my friends
    but there's this man
    He's pourin his heart right into my soul
    he's looking so deep in my eyes
    No one could know

    I'm feeling him
    like a love song
    that just get's stucks
    and starts playing itself all over again
    His eyes are intriguing I can't stop looking at him

    He's feeling on me like a deadly sin
    I'm dancing alone feeling him
    breath so close to my ear
    wishing we could get near
    having no fears

    I feel his lips against my skin
    I feel this tingling feeling from within
    is this a sin or seduction
    cause I have an uncontrolable feeling that
    I should give in.

    Submitted on 2004-12-31 10:58:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like your concept poem, every person had this happen to them and the same feelings you felt are quite normal. You did a very good job of capturing these feelings.

    Keep writing i will keep reading.
    | Posted on 2004-12-31 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      i love this poem it has a very nice flow and gets the point acorss with out dragging on too much and not too short to where it just cuts off the topic. i especially liked the part
    "I feel his lips against my skin
    I feel this tingling feeling from within
    is this a sin or seduction
    cause I have an uncontrolable feeling that
    I should give in. "
    its very sexy and what you truly feel when you get certain urges
    | Posted on 2004-12-31 00:00:00 | by withouthope | [ Reply to This ]
      veeeeerrryyyy nice...i like the sensual feeling you put inta' this...very nice..me like...it gets the point across very well, and i agree you did a great job describing that feeling...
    | Posted on 2005-01-01 00:00:00 | by camoflage | [ Reply to This ]
      Definitely awesome. My favorite part is the ending. It ends so seductive and it's turning me on, waiting for my time to come. Omigod, I can just feel it now...
    | Posted on 2005-01-01 00:00:00 | by Chicool2 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this poem. It kinda puts a song into my mind. It is a great choice of words and i think the title is what pulled me into reading it, and i'm glad it did becuase i really liked it. I don't think i found any mistakes in it.
    | Posted on 2005-01-02 00:00:00 | by MiKkI25 | [ Reply to This ]

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