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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Searching a Lost Pathdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Brwnsknsam05
    ASL Info:    32/F/ Cuba
    Elite Ratio:    4.78 - 399/440/103
    Words: 63
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 1119
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 621



    Description:
       This is me lost in my imagination...happens quite often. It just floated off my head...so yea it might not make sense...cause this one wasn't about making sense. At least not to me. It was about my senses...making sense to me. If that makes sense? Well...enjoy my sincelessness.


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    dotsSearching a Lost Pathdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Without expectation
    And with earnest
    Traveling to the depth
    Of this soul
    This figment
    In circles
    Wandering...aimlessly
    A tree here...a meadow there
    Aimless...pondering
    Kissing wind stung kisses
    To a breathless no one
    Blowing feverant lullabies
    To a shadow man
    Everything whispering
    Backwards
    And crying in rewind
    Circling...tumbling
    Failing...falling
    A crumble...a rock
    A tree here...a forest there
    Looking...watching
    Waiting for me
    Searching...
    My imagination




    Submitted on 2005-01-01 22:38:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      it most definitely feels like a daydream, but at the same time...not really. if that makes any sense at all. i don't beliee you're hopeless at all hun, just more or less thinking about stuff. i think we all let our imaginations roam at some point...thats the by-product. but hey..thats alright! i liked it...for the abstract of it, it still had structure. good deal...and good write

    brent
    | Posted on 2005-01-18 00:00:00 | by austin | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, you're right, it doesn't make sense. So why, then, did I follow it? Maybe because my imagination does that to me sometimes, too. It's a "stream-of-consciousness" thing, I guess. Since this wasn't designed to make sense and was designed to ramble, there is absolutely no critique to give. I actually enjoyed it! Thanks. mae
    | Posted on 2005-01-02 00:00:00 | by mae | [ Reply to This ]
      Certainly abstract. I'm not sure about starting with the words "without hope" because you don't sound hopeless. Perhaps without expectation beter conveys the aimless meandering you describe. I enjoyed the image of backwardness in the center of this, the whispering backwards. Well if you and I both enjoy it, it's a success.
    Dave
    | Posted on 2005-01-05 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]


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