Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 841
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 669



    Description:
       THis was written in a guys point of view.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    stains on your heart
    like I was ever really there
    scars embedded in your mind
    like you ever really cared

    and like I smoke this bloody cigarette
    I am filled with you
    a smoky haze of guilt that I have come back to this place

    suicide girl
    you know I never will forget you
    living in your own world
    you know it could of worked out

    she painted the blood on her stupid cigarette
    she cured my pain and I never will
    forget

    stains on your heart
    like I was ever really there
    scars embedded in your mind
    like you ever really cared




    Submitted on 2005-01-02 04:06:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      very well written. I like the words you used. My favorite part was when you put
    Stains on your heart
    Like I was ever really there
    Scars embedded in your mind
    Like you ever really cared.
    It explains so much just with these lines. This is very good. Keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2005-02-07 00:00:00 | by sarahthegreat | [ Reply to This ]
      Instead of "could of," it needs to be "could've." I like that this is written from a guy's perspective. I often do that, but I don't tell people I'm doing it. It's fun to see if anyone figures it out.
    | Posted on 2005-01-03 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    40163

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Carry written by saartha
    Records I written by Raphael
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Dream written by closetpoet
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    The World written by jjd
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Love written by saartha
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry