When did you post this? Sounds almost like my cig. comparison in "I cannot quit you" dam, well cigs are a good metaphor, huh? Like a bad marriage that's eating you "till death do us part" I saw that 1 too. Your comparison was unclear, you should have written more. More descriptive language is needed too. But enjoyed the read. Keep postin.
I'm sorry i thgough this was quite redundant. I dind't like it at all. I really think it needs a lot of work and you can give it that. You are talented but this really doens't show it. peace work on it mikki