[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: teenage agnostics humble prayerdots

    Author: XxMusikJunkiexX
    ASL Info:    18/f/ny
    Elite Ratio:    2.85 - 109/134/39
    Words: 275
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 899
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1765


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsteenage agnostics humble prayerdots

    There’s nothing but beauty left in the break down,
    Nothing but innocence left in the lies,
    And something unnerving has been growing within,
    It’s the story of our own, self-created demise,
    We all share the joys inherent in living,
    And we all share the doubts that exist even in death,
    And somewhere between loving and simply existing,
    We all learn how to lay our burdens to rest,
    We’re all haunted by demons that emerge from the past,
    Silhouettes we avoided because we saw ourselves in them,
    We’re all burnt by the flames that drip from the Truth,
    A Truth we still can’t comprehend,
    We’re all a little crazy, a little insane,
    Insanity’s relative to what normal is at that moment,
    We all have our doubts that we hide from each other,
    What it comes down to is, we’re all simply human,
    We’ve all bled for each other at some point,
    There’s a fine line between our pain and our beauty,
    And sometimes destruction’s something we cannot control,
    Doesn’t mother nature make war look silly?
    Funny how hollow our voices have become,
    Words mean nothing in the wake of the Gods,
    Funny how helpless we all really are,
    When our world has been silenced with the deads quiet resolve,
    For every action there is a reaction,
    And we all have our own stories to tell,
    Everything is part of the larger cosmic balance,
    Intertwining and crossing and coming into ourselves,
    There’s nothing but beauty left in the break down,
    Nothing but sorrow left in the release,
    Here’s a teenage agnostics prayer for all the victims who perished,
    I hope that you all have found your peace…

    Submitted on 2005-01-02 13:19:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Well done. This is a wonderful write. Although I would have put it into verse. It would make the flow a little better. Other than that, this piece is really good.

    | Posted on 2005-01-02 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]
      It makes me happy. I like the alliteration of "beauty in the break down." You might want to avoid repeating and at the begining of two consecutive lines, it tends to make things a little awkward. I also like how it only rhymes at the end. It makes you remember the last lines.
    | Posted on 2005-01-02 00:00:00 | by VanillaLeaves | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Meditations one written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Remedies written by MyPeriodical
    Gone written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Scared written by MyPeriodical
    One day older, One year wiser. written by Rhythmal
    Broken Promises written by S.A.M.
    not alone written by Daniel Barlow
    Where is My Ghost written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Comparisons written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Canalizar written by MyPeriodical
    Chasing The Lie written by jackz
    To Be written by MyPeriodical
    untitled written by MyPeriodical
    HeroĂ­na written by MyPeriodical
    Everyone written by poetotoe
    Remember written by MyPeriodical
    Two hundred and seven times written by MyPeriodical
    A Donde Llegamos written by MyPeriodical
    The annointed one is persecuted. written by MyPeriodical
    Stretto written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Silly Rulers. written by MyPeriodical
    Labor Pains written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Rezar por la naturaleza written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]