Not listeninq by sug90

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Submission Name: Not listeninq dots

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Author:	sug90
ASL Info:	14/F/U.S.A.
Elite Ratio:	3.21 - 69/93/34
Words:	72

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	211
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	566

Description:
I know its not my best but I need some suggestions to make it better Please help

Not listeninq dots

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Not listening to
These empty threats
all your needless fears
might be fufilled
just because you can
prove your right,
I'm drugged up know-nothing-
at least thats what you say

Not listening
to your screams
disguised with professional words
laced with dotted question marks
I always try
but all I ever get
are empty buckets,
labeled trust &hope

not listening
but somehow-
your empty trust
still hurts

Submitted on 2005-01-02 15:36:16 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
  I can relate. I think this was a great poem. But i definetly can relate to the last part the best, and i think the last stanza was my favorite. You definetly have some talent. The only thing i would do would be to run it through spell check, becuase i think you do have some spelling and grammer errors.
good job
mikki
| Posted on 2005-01-02 00:00:00 | by MiKkI25 | [ Reply to This ]
  You need to proofread this well. It should be "prove that you're right." You misspelled fulfilled and listening (in your title). The hyphens before at (I'd move it to the end of the preceeding line) and after somehow should be hyphens. I like the ideas, but you need to write more carefully.
| Posted on 2005-01-03 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
  I like the meaning behind the poem the way you say your not listening but them not trusting in you hurts shows your true feelings.
D.Johnson
Check the forum under Questions I got a post on love I want yall to check out
| Posted on 2005-01-02 00:00:00 | by D.Johnson p.s.a | [ Reply to This ]

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