love is by bent

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Submission Name: love is dots

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Author:	bent
Elite Ratio:	6.92 - 244/156/18
Words:	255

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	437
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1352

Description:

love is

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the luminescent orange flames of sunset
transform into a deep
blue sea of pinpoint light

the majestic curl of commanded ocean
endlessly flouridescing against masses
of unmoved granite

the stereophonic thunder of confronting force
following an irreversible cycle

the rustling dry palm
inundated with the unseen fragrance
of crimson benediction

the coolness of salt-laden air
silently drifting above the
warm, powdersoft sand

the subtle beauty of a smile
radiating friendly peace

shiny dark hair softly moving in the breeze
framing big, delicate eyes
reflecting unseen rapport

soft, perfect lips with movement barely perceptible
uttering beautiful, soothing sound

the delicate scent of sweet perfume
merging with the fragrance of nature

a small soft hand in mine,
a warm cheek on my shoulder

the supreme happiness of
caring for another

with momentum greater than the sea itself,
sufficient to carry it through eternity,

love is

Submitted on 2005-01-03 10:43:10 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  wow, a very good use of words to describe an undescribable word,, i like this one, reading the poem... I imagined the words happening in my mind. Well, I could very well relate the idea to myself,, because i am very damn in love right now and it really feels that way..

"a small soft hand in mine,
a warm cheek on my shoulder

the supreme happiness of
caring for another"

yes... the supreme happiness of caring for another... and that is really a big truth.. you can never find any other happiness much greater than this if not love. Only times i've been distracted is some of the words which is my fault... coz... i have to look there meaning in the dictionary.. lol...
| Posted on 2005-04-03 00:00:00 | by zadhoevlhu13 | [ Reply to This ]
  I love how you used the title to reflect throughout the whole poem. That is a short notion right there of how magnificent your mind is!

The poem...love is so many things plus some. I think that Webster had his work cut out when it came to writing the definition of that one!

Xbiter
| Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by Xtremebiter | [ Reply to This ]
  I dream of a lover who will write me a poem like this. I love the picture of you and this lover and all the things that it made me feel and pine for. I don't agree with those who said it was overdone, I love the descriptions you used and I love the line " the subtle beauty of a smile radiating friendly peace." I've read it a few times and every time I have an "a-ha" moment. I like the last line. Not only is love the thing that runs through our whole lives ( like your poem), it is also the final afterthought, I believe, when we are looking back at the life we have lived. Thanks for the read. Magnolia
| Posted on 2005-02-11 00:00:00 | by Magnolia | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey there. Thanks for the comments on those two pieces of mine that you read.

This piece is beautiful. It reminds me of the theme I've used in several pieces of my own, the theme that love just is. It is not some long-winded definition of extreme complication. It just is.

I don't agree with penmagic's comment that it's too descriptive. I think the overflowing descriptive nature of this piece gives it a bit of sparkle. It conveys the image you were trying to show so precisely. Which is marvelous. It's not cliché by any means, though there are phrases one might deem cliché...they just work like a charm for this piece. Taking a cliché phrase and making it really useful is hard to do.

In reading this poem, I am reminded of my own dear love. My fiancee Zac. We apparently make people sick with our cutsie-ness. We're very close. This piece really struck a chord with me for that very reason.

I'm very impressed. And I'm going to have to keep up with your work. Anyhoo...much love to ya. And thanks again for the comment. :-)
| Posted on 2005-01-31 00:00:00 | by Juliets_dagger | [ Reply to This ]
  Not sure about the love is - at the end...very interested though in the comparison to the great force of the ocean (especially with the tsunami and all) and how it pales in relation to the power of love. Very grand images here. Your description of the sea had me thinking this was going to be about The Tragedy, so it was kind of a twist ending thing for me, which worked well.

Your choice of diction is ambitious. You've somehow captured the feeling of being in love. There is soft sensuality, like "soft, perfect lips with movement barely perceptible/
uttering beautiful, soothing sound" and "the delicate scent of sweet perfume/merging with the fragrance of nature"...quite pretty...

Anyway, only read it twice, so really just first impressions...liking them so far, just unsure about that last line...maybe it's brilliant...I'll have to absorb it in multiple readings.
| Posted on 2005-01-03 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
  Of all the love poems I've read on this site (and they've been quite plentiful), this is probably the best so far... though that's not saying too much, sadly. I very much enjoyed the imagery you conjured up in the first half of the poem. Your word choice was tremendously erudite; I even had to refer to the dictionary a couple of times. I particularly liked the visceral power of the first couple of stanzas.

As the poem wore on, however, it began to fall off a bit. It started to become rather obvious and cliché, with references to "perfect lips" and "sweet perfume" and "the." Additionally, writing "love is" at the end seemed kind of superfluous, since that's the title of the poem.

Overall, though, I enjoyed this piece a lot. It gives me heart to see that it's still possible to write a good poem about love.
| Posted on 2005-01-03 00:00:00 | by Moose_Jive | [ Reply to This ]
  makes me think of my daughter, although love is typically difficult to describe since it holds many meanings to different people. i think you did a great job capturing your idea of it, at least i think it is much like mine. you write with such imagery in this one, one of my fav's by you for sure***
| Posted on 2005-01-04 00:00:00 | by _winky_ | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a paint by number scene done is an order of perfection. I enjoyed the images along the way not even expecting anything to materialize, but it does.
The friends just spending time, soaking in the beauty of this beautiful painting. Now, that's loving all of it, and all of it is love. I think on the last line you want to put "eternity" instead of using a plural, there's only one and it lasts forever. Beautiful write, and thanks for sharing this.
nansofast
| Posted on 2005-01-04 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
  i guess everything you wrote was everything i know love to be but never connected in my mind. its so rare that someone, anyone really takes the time to notice such things and understand every beautiful moment and every hushed whisper. im so glad that more and more people are looking around and noticing everything that makes love and surrounds them. good job.
| Posted on 2005-01-05 00:00:00 | by butterfly wings | [ Reply to This ]
  Well, that was somehow really really interesting! I really am not sure whether I have read any of your posts before! I don't think so! But anyway after reading this one I think I'll try to read more of your poems and to watch out for your posts in the future.

And now about the poem itself; I think that this was a very beautiful poem indeed, and I think the key in this poem is the flowing emotion and sincerity in the presentation and I must say that this is the most important thing in poetry, being sincere! And not only being sincere but to show the reader that sincerity and let him / her feel it and live it while reading the poem.

I also must talk about the description as I beleive that the description is a very important tool for the writer to give a prior impression to the reader and also to try to capture his / her attention, and I must say that you totally missed that in this one, I really don't know why didn't you use it and I advice you to use it in the future (in case you already haven't done that)

I really liked the images that you created in the poem and words that were very well chosen and totally suits the atmosphere of the poem and convenient with the way the poem was written.

I really liked the last four lines that says

"the supreme happiness of
caring for another

with momentum greater than the sea itself,
sufficient to carry it through eternity,"

Those were very beautiful powerful emotional words indeed and sincere too.

I really don't know what else to say about this poem! But I think that I still have one thing left to say, I want to say that by reading this I think I found my new favorite!

Anyway I hope that you find my comment somehow helpful to you and I'll end up my comment saying Good Luck and keep it up.
| Posted on 2005-04-01 00:00:00 | by Yousef | [ Reply to This ]

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