A Chance to Slip Out of Living by gavinspikenard

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Submission Name: A Chance to Slip Out of Living dots

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Author:	gavinspikenard
ASL Info:	20-something/m/USA
Elite Ratio:	2.85 - 273/334/104
Words:	74

Class/Type:	Poetry/I am dead inside
Total Views:	9897
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	521

Description:
Questions? Contact me through a personal message...

A Chance to Slip Out of Living dots

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Fill the case beneath the needle
Loose the contents with malicious flow
Veins bulge with spastic reactions
Wretched to view, a wicked reception
Contraband: badly hidden
The evidence is in your hollow eyes
It was a risk to attempt it once,
Continuing could equal wounds unexplainable
Better pray for a quick recovery pal
There's a demon flying through your arm
If this is a "fix"
Then I'd hate to see you "broken"

Submitted on 2005-01-04 05:03:43 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  i like this a lot! theres a lot of pain that u expressed in this write in a very unique and diffrent way! good joB!
~akaila evonne~
| Posted on 2005-12-24 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
  Good way of showing some personal issues through your writings.
I now want to see more writings that show how you show the world some personal problems that some people don't know how to deal with.
| Posted on 2005-10-03 00:00:00 | by poet09 | [ Reply to This ]
  Aside from that, deep, evocative and personal. I like your style.

Next poem should tell us about how dependence makes you feel - not physically, but psychologically. Tell us all about how it is when you are just on the brink of surrendering to a desire that you don't wish to have. We've all been there.

myenchantress
| Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by myenchantress | [ Reply to This ]
  Use your talent to get off the [censored]en gear.

Let the genius rule the junkie...not the junk rule the genius.

myenchantress
| Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by myenchantress | [ Reply to This ]
  I liked the poem but I didn't think the title was to great. I expected more of someone getting on their high and what it is really like but I still thought the poem was cool. I liked the end,
"If this is a "fix"
Then I'd hate to see you "broken"
It made me smile.
| Posted on 2005-01-16 00:00:00 | by Sarah Leger | [ Reply to This ]
  truly brilliant piece you wrote here,with a killer ending, mixed with a powerful message that can't be question, bravo my friend

I am going to add this to my fav list, and give this to my friends who are drug counselors.

Though I may have not done drugs or drank or can't be understanding of those who allows themselves to be crushed by their own hand. What I tried to look for when I help a person is: what was and is the driving force behind their problem.

Ty for posting a very powerful and much need poem
| Posted on 2005-01-04 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
  Brilliant poem showing that there is no "fix" in drugs. May I print this out and give it to a friend of mine who runs the Life Skills calss at the local jail. I think that it would be wonderful for her class to read. You hit it exactly and the withdrawal is terrible to watch. Lynn
| Posted on 2005-01-04 00:00:00 | by greensnake | [ Reply to This ]
  absolutely stunning!
"If this is a "fix"
Then I'd hate to see you "broken"" that is just a stop dead in your tracks let your jaw hang open powerful line! hate to sound all corny but perhaps this should be on an anti drug commercial or poster.

To me this was the equivilent of a slap in the face to a someone who is addicted.
The title also was just as powerful. It has so many meanings behind it you can look at it through a (my apologies for lack of a better word) "junkies" view point and think "this life sucks I need a quick escape from all the hard times." and then you can look at it through the view of someone who's mind is not clouded with toxic poision and see it as "this one hit, this one high can make you slip forever from this life..."
| Posted on 2005-01-04 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
  awsome! you illustrate the addiction without mentioning the drug. You have captured the pain and brokeness of the man addicted and the darkness of such a psyche, salude
| Posted on 2005-01-04 00:00:00 | by cainboy | [ Reply to This ]
  i like it a lot. you express yourself very well. brillian choice of words. the punctuation is really rad to. the way you broke it up worked perfectly too. i like the whole talking about it but not saying what IT is concept. good job <3
| Posted on 2005-01-08 00:00:00 | by Lemmy | [ Reply to This ]

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