Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Until Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jaycee
    ASL Info:    44/F/ Texas
    Elite Ratio:    5.27 - 2626/1259/187
    Words: 328
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 1315
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1983



    Description:
       This is another song I've been wrking on to send in for demo and recording. Music is a crossover/country style. Don't hold back tell me what you think.
    This was inspired by a comment from a member here to a poem I wrote for my husband.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUntil Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sometimes this whole life gets too rough
    And no matter how hard I work
    My best is never good enough.
    My whole life spunn a little off course
    With a nowhere job and a messy divorce
    and if there was good,
    it was something that I couldn't see

    Chorus
    Until you
    You came and rescued me
    You walked into my life
    and opened my eyes
    To the things that I could be
    Until you
    I spent all my time alone
    My life was out of control
    not knowing which way to go
    Then you made it all so clear

    I only knew a part of me
    Until you

    Hope was just a word I couldn't see
    Love was a cold, dark place
    Deep inside of me
    I didn't think that anyone cared
    Thought that I had nothing to share
    Then your love taught me to believe

    Chorus
    When you
    You came and rescued me
    You walked into my life
    and opened my eyes
    To the things that I could be
    Until you
    I spent all my time alone
    My life was out of control
    not knowing which way to go
    Then you made it all so clear

    I never knew this part of me
    Until you

    Bridge
    Now I see rainbows in every grey sky
    And a million stars
    light up my nights
    When i'm with you
    you make everything right
    You bring out the best in me
    Your the love of my life

    Yes, you
    You came and rescued me
    You walked into my life
    and opened my eyes
    To the things that I could be
    Until you
    I spent all my time alone
    My life was out of control
    not knowing which way to go
    Then you made it all so clear

    I was missing the best part of me
    Until you

    I was missing the very heart of me
    Until You




    Submitted on 2005-01-04 16:53:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      now look at what you did!?? Looks I got some competion from you. LOL. I can't believe my eyes or ears. you really do have the talent in you.hey you and me gotta have a song/lyric shoot out betcha you'll beat me.
    keep it going honey.
    | Posted on 2005-03-20 00:00:00 | by hotrodruss | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this!

    It just flows sooo well! I can relate very much to the content...

    the same thing has happened to me recently!

    going on the Favs list!

    TeddyD
    | Posted on 2005-01-14 00:00:00 | by TeddyD | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh, it's so perfect. I just had to favoratize it. I have nothing negative to say regarding this piece...I am just in awe. I cannot wait to hear this song, so please, pretty please, tell me when you've got a demo ready.

    Even though I'm not married, I feel so strongly towards my boyfriend that most of the statements you make within this piece fit for him and I as well as any married couple. You said this was in a country-ish type of style, and even though I'm not really into country, I know that I would fall in love with this all over again if I could hear it in song.

    You are very talented. (And I'm so glad I indirectly helped with this wonderful creation.) Very nicely done.
    | Posted on 2005-01-12 00:00:00 | by eener | [ Reply to This ]
      I can really hear that in my mind also :) ...i reallylike this and hope your demo goes well...the first part reminds me of the piece i just finished recently called thank you... the you opened my eyes to what i could be...and i felt this piece described perfectly what i feel for the important person in my life :)

    Now I see rainbows in every grey sky
    And a million stars
    light up my nights
    When i'm with you
    you make everything right
    You bring out the best in me
    Your the love of my life

    thanks for sharing...
    | Posted on 2005-01-04 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    40520

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The World written by jjd
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Records I written by Raphael
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Cover written by saartha
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Etiquette written by saartha
    prison written by ShyOne
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry