Description: this is peice i made from pain that was given to to me reasons i dont know but i know there are other people who has endured the pain and i like to her from people who can realate and enjoyed my post
love to suffer from -------------------------------------------
her eyes portray hevons grace
i can still recall that loving face
and her angelic voice
our stupid choice
but now my heart is a pile of splinters
im a child that has endured too
many winters
i was proud i made her stand tall
now she is the one who makes me
feel small
she filled me with so much pride
now from her i now hide
now her eyes to me are of hate i can
only ask why
she was the only one who made me
cry
wow...uhhhh very different this girl really must have hurt you bad to do this to you i had a guy do that to me before well its really good keep it up ununderstood
I liked this it was quite unstructured but the meaning was there. I wasn't sure about the line, "now from her i now hide" maybe you could lose one of the nows or put "but I can see she lied" I don't know just some thoughts.
this is a good poem. but it left me with questions. I guess sometimes it is good to do that...I understood it and everything...to me it sounds like a mother/daughter relationship...or I don't know...lol...but it is really good!