Description: Yes, I know, more cutting and blood! the next one I submit will have not cutting or blood in it!!!! I only have old ones to post but after the next one I think I may try and write a new one.....I've just lost all inspiration...
I can't really critique this because it's so relatable for me, yet somehow it doesn't give me the impression that you are a cutter, but I digress. Not bad.
whoa, talk about mental picture. It kind of brings back memories for me. I wish things like this never happened to anyone, but what can you do? Of course when the pain subsides, something else comes along and stabs you in the back. Nice repetitive process. I love how your so descriptive, saying everything that's in your mind. And I think that it's good to write about this kind of stuff. It gets it out of your head and out of your heart, so it helps to relieve the pain. Things do get better, I promise.
Wow talk about seeing my past. This is what I felt when I was younger, Like in order to feel anything I need to self inflict pain but I am stronger now. I really like this poem
Wow, I believe that it was very powerful It reminds me of a lot my friends and people I know. I like how I can tell it is was you felt and it all came very easily. It was worth my time reading and I'm excited to see what else you have.
This is okay... uhh... I believe 'pores' in the first stanza should be 'pours'... but yeah. Normally either a poem rhymes and rhymes well, or rhymes in certain places just randomly, or doesn't rhyme at all... but that's just what normally occurs here... I have not yet seen a poem like yours that... well... doesn't rhyme well. I'd consider revising it... just adding or taking away certain words until it sounds easier to say when spoken out loud... and all that good stuff... but that's just my opinion... don't matter to me whatcha do... so yeah... laters...
Wow... this is horribly reminiscant of that cliché "you'll be sorry when I'm gone..." suicide threat - but I mean that in a good way. It's a really powerful poem, very descriptive without being incredibly wordy. Very unsettling, but I enjoyed it.
it spoke well for itself... not exactly too well... but still worth the read. definately. i've had encounters with suicide aswell... it is after all... no matter how the public tries to put a blanket over it... a choice. a- go on. b- be idle c-end it yourself. it's not that i advocate it... it's just that... life often throws something that is too heavy to catch. and writting about death eases the pain. every little bit helps.
This one was a good read but you could figure out the ending from the start. I like your rhyme scheme tho. I will look for more of your writing it reminds me of mine. :)
I understand part of the poem. I remember how it felt...I use to feel that the only way to get away from the horrible pain was to self inflict it physically...not that it got really bad ....but... that's way off subject. There's so much more to life... and I have grown much since then...but death is not the answer, that's for sure.
Submission Name: Blood Stained Carpet
