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    dots Submission Name: eating buffetdots

    Author: brokenbatman
    Elite Ratio:    2.99 - 475/233/44
    Words: 56
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 821
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 435

       don't ask just kicking ideas for a short around in my head

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotseating buffetdots

    lost in wilderness
    alone starving
    dead rotting animal
    burning in stomach
    dizzy from malnutrition
    helps to mask the smell
    tearing swollen carcas
    find the meat below
    tearing it with hands and teeth
    oh sweet salvation
    nasty, puffy, rotting flesh
    maggots on my face
    liquid from rotting corpse
    just thinking out loud
    is better than mc donalds

    Submitted on 2005-01-07 02:32:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      hehehe, I like your comparison here.
    You set the scene up with the background, throw in the gruesome, over-the-top details, then hook it with the last line.

    Cleverly done, very nice indeed.

    be happy

    | Posted on 2006-02-16 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Haha, very enjoyable read. I could almost taste the carcass as well. Gave me the feeling that this guy has been lost or stranded in these woods for quite some time. Not sure if he hates McDonalds or is just so happy to have something in his belly that he was over joyed.
    Liked the way it was all serious at the start and at the end it kinda lightened up. Nice touch. I guess this kinda the way he was feeling when he was starving. VEry serious indeed, then after he ate he lost some of the desperation and found some contentment in his meal. It's funny how starving to death will change your dietary habbits . Nice job and thanks for sharring this well written but deranged lil write.
    | Posted on 2006-02-18 00:00:00 | by Man in Black | [ Reply to This ]
       That's funny! I became vegetarian after eating McDonald's food. *cringes*. It's just so fatty and gross! My favorite line has to be
    "just thinking out loud
    is better than mc donalds"
    | Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by brassmonkey2009 | [ Reply to This ]
      Sick! Totally random, with a memorable last couple of lines. Good write which would probably be welcomed by cannibals. Applause for being original.
    | Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by Lady Tragedy | [ Reply to This ]

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