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    dots Submission Name: Reading Comprehensiondots

    Author: Anchiale
    ASL Info:    32/F/AL
    Elite Ratio:    3.56 - 88/73/14
    Words: 251
    Class/Type: Rant/Broken
    Total Views: 818
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1533

       This isnt a real poem...It's just some thoughts I was throwing around...I need feedback so that I can revamp this, because I know it isn't quite right...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsReading Comprehensiondots

    I've been pondering some issues
    perplexing matters like, why am I wearing these rings?
    how could I have become so deeply involved with you?
    more importantly, why cant I straighten out these things?

    Crazy is the bond that you and I share
    and the emotional rollercoaster takes me for a ride everyday
    it transports me so high in the heavens, and leaves me so deep in despair
    when will the madness ever go away?

    No matter how many ways I try to convey my feelings to you
    it's like throwing all of my money down the toilet
    you rearrange my words, then give me a guilt trip to timbuktu
    and when it concludes, I'm desolate and disappointed.

    It rips like a dagger thru my soul
    and I cry with dry eyes
    wondering why with you, I've lost my sense of self-control
    because I know this is wrong, and I know you've lied, yet I cant seem to say goodbye

    Maybe it's the madness that attracts us
    we come together only to fall apart
    I need stability and the ability to give you my trust
    but due to the circumstances, our situation was doomed from the start.

    However, I know one thing is certain
    though my heart is blind, my eyes and mind are wide open
    even though your mouth doesnt say much, I can comprehend what your actions are saying
    and once I walk out of the door this time, I'm never entering it again.

    Submitted on 2005-01-07 09:57:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      hmmm...i think part of might be wrong is the forced rhyme scheme in the beginning, not all poems require a rhyme or four lines per stanza. just write what feels natural, not just what fits.
    | Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by painofthanatos | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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