This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

The Dead Rose


Author: painofthanatos
Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 684 /571 /86
Words: 195
Class/Type: Poetry /You left me
Total Views: 856
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1267



Description:


eh...what's there to say???


The Dead Rose



I think of our love
I’m gripping this flower tightly

I remember you standing on my door step
The pouring rain flattens your hair
As melted gel runs slowly down your cheek
But I kiss it all the same
You handed me a rose
A beautiful black rose
And I placed it carefully into water

I remember how we sat in the
Very
Back
Row
Of the movie theatre
Two teenagers in love
Ignoring the scene, the plot
None of that matters
So long as your lips stay on mine

Only now your lips are on hers
And I guess that’s all that matters
It’s all that matters
When your lips are on hers
They aren’t on me
Your eyes, they keep wandering to mine
But your lips, they’re locked tight
As tight as my fist
As tight as this knot in my stomach

So here I sit
Holding this rose tighter
And tighter
My hands, they’re bleeding
And this flower, it’s like us
The beauty, the love,
It’s wilted and died
And all that’s left are these thorns
Tearing apart my hands
Like your words tore apart my heart…




Submitted on 2005-01-07 13:36:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  hmm perhaps the black rose he offered as symbol of his love should have tipped you off. ;)

Sorry I'm just in one of those smart azz moods.

at first I was like hmm black rose ohhhkay. But now that I've read this to the end I see how it fits in perfectly.
| Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
  Actually, I think that the whole rose metaphor for love may be a tad cliché. But this is just my opinion. I really liked the second verse, how it painted a picture of how you loved him, placing the rose carefully into water and kissing his cheek though there was gel on it. You were very descriptive there. But for some reason the poem lacked something after that. I do the same thing anyways. Starting out with something really great and then falling off somewhere along the way.
| Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by kristiana | [ Reply to This ]
  I don't see why people have to say things are a cliché, if that's what you're feeling then it doesn't matter.
This is wonderful. The rose and the thorns, they represent so much, escpecially for me.

Rain
| Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]
  Sometimes, I think, with young love, it more ache then heart. The black rose is very interesting; extremely difficult to grow, like true love. I wonder about the line, your eyes they keep wandering to mine. what exactly did you mean by that, wishful thinking? or was he playing some kind of game. I enjoyed reading this though, no matter what you meant. Good job.
| Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
  I really like this one, but then again I like all of your work. And i know how that feels. I like the way you used sensory details. And I could almost see everything. :)
| Posted on 2005-01-08 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
  God that sucks, I would have kicked the [censored]s ass, or at least tried to.I would have made me feel better...I've had many relationships so alike, yet ending so diffrently...So I was never given a black rose...none of them ever truley cared, because my first b.f. had a girlfriend the next morning when I went to school...Anyway, I love the story...Too bad it had to happen.This poem was pretty nice...
camoflage
| Posted on 2005-01-08 00:00:00 | by camoflage | [ Reply to This ]
  I like this one too. Hahah, I stay away from guys, and haven't really ever been in a relationship, BUT I STILL LIKE IT! It's good. I love the rose... damn, its like... symbolic. Haha. I wrote a poem about a rose too... I frankly dont think it's all that good. But hey, it got published in some pussy poetry that is too afraid to turn down anybody. Eh... anyway, you rawk. I lubb your poems!
| Posted on 2005-01-11 00:00:00 | by GiveMeTheGun | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



40944