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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The words I don't write.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Brownsdelight
    ASL Info:    25/F/NUEVO MEXICO
    Elite Ratio:    4.43 - 1251/1055/115
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Prose/Serious
    Total Views: 1590
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 782



    Description:
       this is something that came to mind for the phrase "The words I don't write." There is not much truth in this muse, in the past this is how I felt but now I'm more honest with myself.

    My apologies for the uneven read. I'm still trying to form my thoughts to pen and pad but still struggling. It's more then writers block I think, I'm just...uninspired.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe words I don't write.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Posting muse after muse
    hiding behind a pen name.
    Here I am safe.
    For no one knows
    the truths that lie within.
    I create a person
    I want others to view.
    A false presence of
    who I am.
    They know nothing of my weaknesses.
    Nothing of my broken dreams.
    No one can hear the sobs that come
    from such a deep sorrow.
    Here I can paint the most breathtaking scene
    of a strong woman whose beauty captures all.
    In truth it is only a masquerade.
    I am the belle of the ball,
    hiding behind my feathered mask.
    Eloquently I waltz around reality.
    Comforted in knowing that this world I have created
    will never disappoint me, for it knows not the true me.




    Submitted on 2005-01-07 13:49:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really really like this peice, this is the first peice that i truely connected with in a while. I hate the fact that i can identify with it so much but right now thats where im at. The pain of walking around pretending to be someone your not is unbearable. Writing was my only escape to be me, i didnt have to pretend for the pad of paper. Good write!
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by Ann | [ Reply to This ]
      Well I don't believe writers block on this one and I see lots of honesty in the write.I think this is very good...
    I will be read'n more of your work in the future.
    ~Doc~
    | Posted on 2005-01-19 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      Many live in the shadows only because they don't want to be revealed. I lived that way for a long time. Not wanting to let anybody in because I didn't want them to know the inner me. The scarred side of me. This was awesome. Truly truly awesome.
    | Posted on 2005-01-12 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      It makes me think of Cinderella...This is such an good piece, i think it applies to quite a few of the people on this site. All of us forming a new identity, hiding skillfully behind a keyboard.
    It's really not too much of an uneven read, you did a pretty well job of making the pen and the pad meet without a struggle.
    Great Job
    | Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by painofthanatos | [ Reply to This ]
      I think that you did a really great job on this, even though you said that you needed to work on the flow and stuff, I thought it read pretty well. It works well for free verse. I like the insights that you have in this poem and it is very similar to a poem I wrote called "my mask" very close to it! hope you have an awesome day!
    ~Amanda
    | Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by AmandaLyn | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree that the beginning of this is stronger than the ending, but part of that looks to be due to the change in form. In the first part you use very short unforgiving lines, then You lengthen them and we start dancing with the belle. perhaps ending this with shorther lines again will emphasize the contrast between the two people.
    I really think that this double image in pretty much par for the course with internet personality. It allows us to be the person we wish we were for a bit and is successful because there is nothing to negate that opinion. but I alos think a lot of a persons basic qualitites get magnified too.
    jan
    | Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      For having writers block you write alot and very good,lol Yes i agree on here, personal knowledge is more hidden between the words or not told at all. Since i have two very active muses,do u want to borrow one,lol

    Here's a big hug to help u along your way.

    keep writing and I will keep reading
    | Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      i thought your poem really caught what i've done most of my life, created a perfect image of what i wanted people to think i was and lie to myself and make myself believe it was true i've always lived by that and it (strange really) makes me believe that i am stronger and more than what i actually am so yes for someone eho claims writters block and says they need help on form and all you relly got it right to me
    | Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by misty_of_moon | [ Reply to This ]
      Isnt that what we're all doing here. Hiding behind something, hoping for someone to notice? For someone with writers block, you sure raised the bar a bit. Very well written and thought provoking. I especially thought the last two lines were the strongest and most sincere in the whole write. Good job.
    | Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
      the "belle of the ball, hiding behing my feathered mask"
    is a timeless image. When you spoke these words in your poem, I saw the 17th century masquerade, and you and I were there, therefore we became timeless.
    | Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by max | [ Reply to This ]
      I can really relate to this piece which is what draws me to it. I especially like the part about the bell of the ball hiding behind her mask. I do the same thing, I think that we all do. I think that you have successfully captured the inner world of a writer or any artist for that matter. Great job.
    | Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by kristiana | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    12. Does it feel original?



    40947

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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