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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Who I Amdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: shmuzzelle
    ASL Info:    20/girl/canada
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 261/134/30
    Words: 187
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Dark
    Total Views: 896
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1228



    Description:
       I wrote this piece for a project in my media class at school. It was intended to be a song, but then I realized that it's kind of hard to sing. It's kind of about my life, in a way. How I'm mad at this person who's supposed to be my friend. Someone who I just can't be real with. How I can't be real with anyone. I know a lot of people who have basically tried to run away from their problems with drugs and stuff, and I tried that for a while. I was smart and figured out it doesn't work. Cutting doesn't work either, it just makes you hurt more in the end. Then there was this friend that I was really counting on. He had pulled me back from the edge once, and I'll never be able to thank him enough for that. Nobody really seemed to care that stuff wasn't right and for a while it just didn't seem worth it anymore. I asked that friend for help, and you know what he did? He walked away. He always wondered after that why stuff was weird between. I guess we've just grown apart because I haven't talked to him in months. The end of it was really when I told him that I needed people in my life that I can depend, and that if he can't do it to just walk away. Maybe I pushed him away, I don't know. I was just wondering whether someone can relate to how I was feeling/am still feeling. Mr. Poirier (the teacher of that class) never realized that the song was about me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWho I Amdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You stare at me
    But do you really see
    What's inside?
    I walk through life
    Hiding behind a lie.
    Do you even know
    That I have many faces?
    One to please everyone.
    I would give anything
    To be perfect
    Like you.

    I'm not who you think I am
    There's more than meets the eye.

    Line by line
    Bottle by bottle
    My problems disappear.
    I have become one of you
    I have found a place to hide.
    The blood begins to run
    Pain and suffering go away
    For a little while.
    I do this every day
    But no more can I feel.

    I'm not who you think I am
    There's more than meets the eye.

    Nobody seems to care
    That I'm falling apart.
    Immersed in you life
    You're never there to help
    When I need you the most.
    I've learned to count on no one.
    I've finally found my own way
    Did you see me walk away?

    I'm not who you think I am
    There's more than meets the eye.

    I'm not who you think I am.

    I never will be.




    Submitted on 2005-01-07 17:39:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      There is something wonderful about anyone who stands up and shouts "I am here, I am here, I am here!" But then there's the pitfall of becoming too cliché and not saying it in a unique way, which sort of belies the underlying theme of this piece. If you want to show us you're here, that you're not what we see, then darn it, dig deep and show us with your visual representations, with some unique way of saying something that's been done a zillion times. You have the skills, the mind, the emotion, I know you do because I've read some of your other work.

    But some things are best said simply and directly. The balance is sometimes difficult, but ultimately, how you choose to tell your story, or I should say SHOW your story to us, that defines your work, and you as the person behind it.

    And we do so very much want to see what that is! Thrill us, baby!
    | Posted on 2005-04-27 00:00:00 | by Vancrown | [ Reply to This ]
      when i read this i think of myself.. for i walk through life and no one NOT ONE SOUL knows the real me.. either they dont care or they are to shallow to understand the depth in me. for i walk in shadows buring myself in the covers trying to forget everything. it drives my insane i must do this but yet if anyone knew me as a person they would be confused and get fustrated and walk away. so i stay like a mortal and walk around thinking i am so glee with life. lol ok i am starting to ramble so i shall stop but your poem has a great deal of meaning to me.
    | Posted on 2005-06-15 00:00:00 | by slntfirflm | [ Reply to This ]
      The repetition of "I'm not what you think I am"...that was catchy and great!

    Often, you can turn into something from something else. People will know you for what you were with them at one point not realizing that you can change...

    Great poem!

    Xbiter
    | Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by Xtremebiter | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice effort on the poem, and although your theme is far from original, your word choice and structure were well organized and the poem was very smooth. All in all, it was a pretty good poem, and I hope to see more of your work in the future. Happy new year, Later
    | Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by TZPhelps | [ Reply to This ]
      Haha, yeah.. if you were gonna sing this song. I recomend you get me to scream it... ( not to brag or anything ), But it seems like a sobby scream piece. Lol, its alright though.
    Be more Creative like Storm said.

    bye
    | Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by Abort_Chaotic | [ Reply to This ]
      Of, I forgot to say.. I don't believe in physcle pain..Sorry I don't know how to spell that... Nor does it matter. Don't cut its pointless. Thats what I'm trying to convey by this comment
    | Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by Abort_Chaotic | [ Reply to This ]


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