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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Nothing left to Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TDALBH
    Elite Ratio:    4.82 - 63/57/15
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Poetry/What you did
    Total Views: 867
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 570



    Description:
       Well, so much for the happy love poem I was trying to write, but this works aswell. So..... does this fall under depressed, what you did, or love?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNothing left to Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I broke my Heart in pieces
    because you asked me to
    I set my soul ablaze
    because you wanted it so
    I killed my friends
    because you said there was no other way
    I keep myself in shadow
    because you told me to
    I let you brake my spirit
    because I can't help but love you
    I lie, even to myself
    because you don't like the truth
    Now you realize that you love me too,
    but because you wanted things this way
    I'm nothing but your empty slave
    Nothing left to Love




    Submitted on 2005-01-07 18:33:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      hmm..this write is like the person that you cant get over and think your in love with, making you do anything for them. Taking yourself down below them only to be killing yourself then and only then they will go to you when you are weak.
    I like this write more then i should but thanks for writing it.

    ACE
    | Posted on 2005-02-25 00:00:00 | by Ace | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm gonna go with it falls under love just because I like love poems better then depression and what you did.
    I enjoyed this. I liked the way it all fit together because it had a nice rhytm to it, one that I enjoyed quit a bit.
    I was interested by this. This is what I was looking for at the moment, I am in a , "DIE WORLD DIE!" mood and this was just something good and sad for me to read. Happy for that.
    Cae.
    | Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by Cigarette Smoke | [ Reply to This ]
      Im not really for sure what it should be classified as but i really like the poem itself. To me it struck a chord becuase ive had that happen here recently. The flow of it is really good i never got lost while reading it and i liked that you said "i set my soul ablaze" that was real cool in my opinion because you didnt say on fire which is very commonly used. That was one of my favorite lines even though i like the whole thing. And i also like the way that you told this whole story like thing in not alot of words. Because alot of times to tell some sort of story or something and make it all make since you have to use alot of words and make the poem rather long and you didnt. So that kinda unusual. Good job on this piece. ~*Peace and Love*~ , Riot
    | Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by Riot Madden | [ Reply to This ]
      i thought this was gonna be a great poem and i like the idea that you're trying to write about but it didn't do it for me. it's not really captivating.
    | Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by passion4poetry | [ Reply to This ]
      Haha, I sat down and tried to write something other than what I was currently feeling and about my sucky/unsucky love life today too and I couldnt do it. It all came out a complete reflection of my feelings, as yours seemed to also.

    You use one comma throughout this piece and althoguh that can make a poem flow, I think it would be better ig you put marke resting spots in this piece. Just basic guidelines. Apart from thats thers really nothing I cna say against this piece.

    I understand what you're going through and the unhappiness only makes you an ugly person, believe me...I know. Keep your head up and get out while you still can. Hopefully friends youve; vcasred aside will eventually come back. Its a long hard an painful process, but the end id rewarding. Just dont get back into it like I did. Unhappiness is pure bitterness the second time around.

    --Kayla
    | Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by Superman | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very cliché; too much for my liking, but I do have some thoughts. the line "I keep myself in shadow" Is brilliant. If you are familar with the work of Carl jung than you understand this brilliance. In the future if you don't know how to classify a poem just don't classify it; no rule saying you have to. Just classify it in your description. I think we've all( many of us anyway have) gone through the pain of unhealthy relationships. Today is a new day an oppurtunity to change; self love is important. peace
    | Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked this piece very much... it said alot in just those few words... i know what this is about and if you want to talk to me about it you know you can.. i've told you that it doesn't bother me and i'm here for you... i love you so i'm not leaving.. remember that.
    | Posted on 2005-01-08 00:00:00 | by darkwisdom623 | [ Reply to This ]


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