Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Broken Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Crestfallenman
    ASL Info:    21/M/CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.72 - 603/832/350
    Words: 303
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 532
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1983



    Description:
       Love is fake...There is no love in this world, every time I allow myself to fall to love through anyone it fails through deceit, death, or betrayl...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBroken Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sorrowful tears from the waisted times,
    Guilty lovers, pulled by their love crimes.
    Pitiful thoughts, drag their hearts,
    Time in solitude, start to rip them apart.

    Darkened by love,
    Betrayed by the dove that flys in the sky above.
    A crow appeared upon pursuit for the kiss,
    Destroyed by the lover who is tearfuly missed.

    Strong feelings and stability, thought they had,
    How can things this good, get so bad.
    Love a strong we expect to have,
    A painful feeling in these hearts, drives us mad.

    A tear from a eye from being forgotten,
    A broken heart, this love has darkened.
    Painful and fearful lust infects the blood,
    The pain of angst and anger, for this is love!

    A darkned trap that lay below,
    Without a sense of betrayl shall be shown.
    Sex and a heart is to be lured in,
    To only be crused inside the lover within.

    Blind thy soul has seen no love,
    No hope or answers that fly above.
    The cupids arrow shoots into the heart,
    Betrayed, she stabs the sword inside, fallen apart.

    Now the sword and arrow both lay within,
    Blood of betrayl, this love isn't healing.
    Lovers are the birds trapped within a cage,
    For the darkside to tamper them into rage.

    We say that this love shall be the same,
    Blind from the feelings that will drive us insane.
    Fooled by an endless world of this,
    Endless intamcey and happiness.

    Destination by the darkened betrayl,
    The dark knight of break ups follow thy trail.
    He stabs thy lovers with the adultry knife,
    Watch as these lovers ruin there lives.

    Fallen to betrayl, by darkened deceit,
    Darkened by the world of love thst greets.
    Broken love reflects our past,
    Those who survive, are alone at last...




    Submitted on 2004-03-24 12:15:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Get rid of the typo's...definitely like this one better with the more traditional structure..there are a few places the rythm is a bit off or the rhyme is a bit forced but on the whole a good write..
    jan
    | Posted on 2004-03-24 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    4100



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry