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Recipe for War

Author: deadndreaming
Elite Ratio:    6.74 - 1360 /1263 /83
Words: 191
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 2547
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1990


If you're offended by this because you feel I'm making light of a grave subject, I apologize. If you're offended because you're a big Bush supporter....Anyway, am I missing ingredients? I thought oil, but couldn't think of a good way to work it in...ok...whatever...

Bon appetit!

Recipe for War


19            Al Qaeda brand terrorists (with box cutters)
4              American commercial airliners
1              Bush brand family vendetta
2              Gulf War leaders with chips on shoulders
1              Genocidal Iraqi dictator
140,000   Armed young Americans
1,000’s     Iraqi insurgents
150 billion U.S. dollars (extorted)
Decades   Mid-Eastern hatred of American values
                 Imaginary weapons of mass destruction


Step 1

Mix terrorists into airliners. Whip mixture in two large towers.
Set on burner (high heat). Stir until creating
295 million angry Americans. Let simmer.

Step 2

Mix Bush vendetta and Gulf War leaders until blended.
Wisk in Iraqi dictator. Fold in imaginary weapons of mass destruction.

Step 3

Combine mixture from Step 2 with angry Americans.
Heat to boil.
Slowly stir in armed young Americans and U.S. dollars.
Allow to settle.
Add Iraqi insurgents.
Fold in Mid-East hatred.

Step 4

Put in desert oven at 100 degrees.
Bake until all active ingredients are dead (Depending on strength
of oven, usually 10-15 years).
Add more armed Americans and Iraqi insurgents
to taste.

Submitted on 2005-01-07 21:04:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  Oh my....this just has to be on a 50s style poster....blonde smiling aproned 'loving dad and president' with a spatula branded WOMD and a baking tray the shape of the Middle East....

As to the oil...hmmm...well, one greases the baking form before baking, and altho thats usually butter, you can use oil there...thats just a thought, though...

Very, very nicely done. Satirical, but not ranty; light-hearted but still serious and thought-provoking....just right

You bake a mean political pie, Sir

Cutia (hee hee hee)
| Posted on 2005-05-29 00:00:00 | by Katia | [ Reply to This ]
  I think 0 weapons of mass destruction would be more powerful than imaginary, in this case, even though the latter is certainly true, but that's what I was thinking. Perhaps "Rumored" would work even better. Yeah, I like that . . . and, I like your list of ingredients! But you forgot the natural gas pipeline in Afganistan, and the corporation that GW Sr sits on the board, a Saudi conglomerate, I can't think of the name right now. Oh, and how many intelligence outfits staring at a loss of funding? How many bills in the Patriot Act? How many dollars cut from defense spending in the previous years? How many American military bases closed in the previous years? Those would be things I'd consider adding there. I'm sure I can think of more, given time, but off the top of my head, this is all I can come up with!

Stir until creating
295 million angry Americans. Let simmer.

I might suggest here:

Stir in 295 million angry Americans. Bring to a steady boil. Reduce heat. Cover, and let simmer . . .

<I am an amatuer gourmet, did you know?>

This was pretty cool. Needs a little tweaking. Did you look at a cookbook or recipe as you created this? I'd like to see you mix up some more cooking terms in here. There are so many of them, it could inject a lot of humor into this piece.

But for all that, well done. I don't see how anyone could be offended by this!
| Posted on 2005-06-01 00:00:00 | by Vancrown | [ Reply to This ]
  Step 5

Let consciousness be common knowledge and love the true path of any life.

Step 6

Allow a celebration as power is usurped by common decency and love, giving no one the right to make decisions for another.
Prioritize need in terms of distribution of resources, The Divine at it's best fosters wealth akin to socialism. True wealth is doing what you love as many hours each day as you like.

Step 7 everyone's in heaven on earth.

Recipe for Peace
respectfully submitted,

I like your style David, it cooks, but I thought I'd better clean up the kitchen. Thanks for sharing.
| Posted on 2005-06-08 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
This poem simuntaneoulsy made me want to laugh and cry.
Okay (I was laughing) but I am kinda teary-eyed.
This statement here is fucing genious. I wrote my sorrows of thewar and the -re-election (in which you read) and I realize that the soap box really isnt needed in these circumstances... just a simple recipe.

No matter the stance of anyone reading this... they cannot deny how a "our leaders" so metulously played off certain chains of events and our emotions.. some of the world's top pyscholgist are (and have been) working for the department of defense... you make this quite clear.

I dont need to say anymore. Mines like the 50th f-uckin comment.
| Posted on 2005-06-11 00:00:00 | by screams | [ Reply to This ]
  HAHAHA I think this is one of the funniest/truest things ive ever seen/read in my life.
Such great wit you have!
PS; like the name.. Is it any possible reference to philip K. dick?
| Posted on 2005-06-14 00:00:00 | by NgenuousProdigy | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey there. Though I am well aware that this is meant to be light-hearted, one must always keep in mind, when reading something like this, that no matter what politicians you support, there is still a war going on and people are still dying because of all this.I do think however, that this war was for the most part inevitable. It would've gone on whether Bush was in office or not. I myself, dislike a vast majority of politicians. Including Bush. I don't dislike him on a personal level, because I don't really know him, thus I can't make assumptions about him. But I most definatly don't like some of his political actions. Going to war was an inevitable outcome to the events of 9/11 and the things that followed. I have to say that I'm not proud of the way America has handled some things as of late. America seriously lacks morality and needs a reality check. But, any other country would probably react very closely to the way we did if they were in the same situation. You can't expect a country to sit back after it's been attacked. Now, being the crazy hippie child that I am, I'm against war. I think politicians and world leaders are just too darn stupid to sit down and act civil enough to discuss things, they'd rather just blow stuff up apparently. Talking things out like civil adults would just be too easy I guess. The point it this, war is not good for anyone, no matter what the so-called circumstances are. There is no excuse for the killing of other humans. It's not our place to judge who should have the right to live and who should die.

Despite the sarcasm of this piece, I'm detecting a hint of resentfulness against the concept of war. The way you broke this down, like a recipe, makes it very clear the catalysts for each event that took place. It also makes for a great deal of controversy, since you seem to be against Bush.

Still though, I must give extreme kudos to you for the skill involved in writing this. It's just a really refreshing and eye opening read. Wow.

Much love to ya my dear.
| Posted on 2005-01-30 00:00:00 | by Juliets_dagger | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow. Yes I could see where people would be offended. But I think they should look past that and see all the work you put into this. At least that is the way I looked at it. It wuz quite interesting and not to sound like a stupid kid (cuz I'm really not) I learned a few things. I try my best to stay neutral when it comes to politics and things of that nature, so I won't say how I feel about it one way or another... I just wanted to comment on your writing skills, and the thinking ability behind it all. Anyways, plus I hadn't been in touch with you in a while and never said thanks for commenting on my latest poem, so thanks for that. I haven't been writing much lately, but I always enjoy your comments.
| Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by WaxingPoetic | [ Reply to This ]
  I'm not in the least offended, but then I'm not from Greater Texas. The point of view you espouse in this piece of writing is actually the one held by all of the rest of the world outside of greater Texas. So, I am not in the least shocked or offended or even surprised. The last thing to really surprise me in politics was that America re-elected George Bush. However, would your recipe be any less effective if you called it something other than poetry?
| Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by hanuman | [ Reply to This ]
  this is an excellent piece... i'm glad no one's gotten all offended by it yet, cause otherwise i'd have a few words for them...

i hate war... i especially hate this war / non-war... its a bunch of bull[censored] that shouldnt even be going on... people being killed everyday.. and of cource it's not the rich people whose families will profit by the war.. it's the children of the middle and lower classes... familes whose kids are over there because they dont have enough money to go to college... or kids that didnt think they would be able to find good jobs after high school for various reasons...

i was watching full metal jacket yesterday... the main character Joker says something that caught my eye.. something like... i joined because i wanted to travel.. meet people from ancient cultures... and kill them... it made me laugh because he was being a smart ass... but it's so true and so sad...

back to your write though.. before i go on for days.. which i'm sure i could at this point...

the way that this is set up is pretty original.. dont see the likes of this around here... i was also thinking when i read the ingredients that you shoulda incorporated oil in there some how.. maybe something about oil hungry greedy nations... not sure how you'd want to do that... might attract some negative comments.. a lot of people saying its not about oil.. but it is..

i think maybe you could put in something about innocent civilians being killed also...

this is actually two different wars you're talking about... supposedly... one is the war on terror.. the other the war for oil (or to free iraq.. whatever you want to call it) .. you have the iraqi dictator in there.. and the airplanes and towers.. but you lack the 'hunt for osama' ...

anyways.. i love to read political stuff.. wish there was more of it around here... a lot of people dont really know about what goes on in this evil war... and others are so desensitized to it.. it's scary.. people need to be educated...

i enjoyed this a lot...
| Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by besodemuerte | [ Reply to This ]
  No in-depth look at this one. I loved it. You mix searing truths with even-handedness and the result is a poem that really stimulates the mind. It's got humor and atrocity...all sorts of's a wonderful dish! You've got me thinking and I'll add another sonnet to my 911 poem and probably make a series out of that. Cheers
| Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
  I had to go back and read that cocky description< If you are a bush supporter...anyway> still laughing my rear off!
Your poem was in depth and at a new angle. I have read so many poems about this war, many to which I cried from. I have found that with anything that causes pain to others I hate...well I cant say hate, I just feel others sorrow to much. Your poem, did not bring tears but it did bring insight. You did this in a way that stayed so even on dboth sides. You know what I would love to see? Here in Alabama in our local news paper we have a section call " Veiw Point" in it contains many writings that local people do, some not local, about many topics that uncludes things of this nature < your poem>. I would love to see this published were more people can see it. Just an idea that came across me while I was reading the topics of the others. Your poems hits so many points of this war but not in the angery or depressing way that it has been approached before which makes it easier to read.
* suggestion for oil...
Your baking this right?? why not add the oil to the pan so it does not stick? It only takes a little oil but your dish would be worthless without it because it would not come out of the pan. But in this case with so many " people" involved it would take lots of oil. just an thought. hope it helps some.
| Posted on 2005-01-08 00:00:00 | by raptures | [ Reply to This ]
  Well, I am a Bush supporter. But I don't hate or dislike this piece. It speaks the truth. The only thing missing, the thousands who died on the 11th of Sept. in those two towers, the Pentagon, the field in Pennsylvania, the Pentagon, and the airplanes that horrible day. That plays a MAJOR factor in why we are at war. Osama and Sadaam were threats to the US way before Bush got elected into office. I would much rather have Sadaam behind bars now than planning an attack like 9/11. Osama attacked us. Killed INNOCENT people. That sounds more like Hitler than Bush does, Storm of Bliss. Hitler killed INNOCENT Jewish people. Osama killed INNOCENT Americans – well not all were American born but they were living HERE because America offers that – of all religion, race, ethnicity. I had to cool down after reading her comment about how she sees Bush like Hitler. That's just insane. Move away from this country and see how much better it is over there. With the constant threat of suicide bombers. I even saw a car explosion on TV from Iraq or somewhere over there. It was horrible. And yes I realize that Osama is from Afghanistan and we are at war with Iraq. But the insurgents both promote the same thing: hate. INNOCENT PEOPLE, that's what they kill. Why? Because they have been brainwashed and filled with hate. It’s not because of their religion. Crazy people exist from all religions. Why do we have an army? To protect the country. To protect America. To help other countries gain the freedom we have now. Those young men and women signed up for the marines, army, air force, navy. I don't want them to die either. They did, however, pledge themselves to this country called “Land of the Free” to protect the freedom we have. If people of other countries are threatening that freedom by killing INNOCENT people living here, doing their jobs, working, going to school, why would you sit on your butt and not defend this country against anymore attacks like 9/11? I am a Bush supporter yes. Do I agree with everything he does? Of course not. Do I agree with this war? If it means protecting our freedom as Americans, where everyone is welcome – everyone – and promoting peace in other countries, then yes, I do agree with it. Pearl Harbor was an attack on the US military. 9/11 was an attack on regular people. If you are going to mention the towers on 9/11 don’t forget who and what happened inside those towers, in the field in Pennsylvania, the airplanes, and the Pentagon.

People have a right to their opinions and this is mine. I’m not upset that you wrote this and I don’t hold a grudge to you or anyone else that commented. This was more of a rant than anything. Maybe to help get people thinking, I don’t really know. What I do know is that Americans need to support our troops who are protecting us. Don’t disregard them because you don’t like Bush.

| Posted on 2005-01-08 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
  Oil is often used to grease a pan before baking, so you could probably fit it in that way... i know this probably took a lot of time and thought on your part, and it is very good. i can't think of anything you left out. i wasn't offended at all, and if anyone is, oh well... good job!
| Posted on 2005-01-08 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
  Well, this sounds like a good recipe to me. G.W. Bush is a dangerous man. I was SO hoping to get that idiot out of office. I like Magnicat's idea about the oil. This was really clever.
| Posted on 2005-01-09 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
  I'll address the piece as it applies to the writing and let the others argue politics. I would love to see this done as a skit on SNL with someone acting like Julia Childs, blending in little toy soldiers and cake batter and all,
but I think it should have been posted as mscls.
They say anything can be a poem, and if they're right this would be the proof, but I think miscellaneous. Not that it wasn't great, it was, and I liked it.
| Posted on 2005-01-10 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
  I agree...I have to laugh at this...although it's sadly true...
"Bake until all active ingredients are dead" I have to say this made me black humorist you.

I agree with your little political rant here...must admit. I'm getting a little sick of all this Iraq business...I don't know what this election will hold...I don't even want to think about it.
You know, the conservatives bash all the liberals for being unpatriotic for not supporting this war...I just still can't figure out why we're there...and one million Iraqis are dead...I don't know...
| Posted on 2005-01-10 00:00:00 | by marysunshine | [ Reply to This ]

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