Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Harmony of Deathdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: GiveMeTheGun
    ASL Info:    20/F/TX
    Elite Ratio:    3.51 - 108/85/15
    Words: 199
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 1784
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1422



    Description:
       Opera singers are a mystery.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHarmony of Deathdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The keys played softly,
    A slow, agonizing dance.
    The sounds full of memory,
    Carved me a painful path.
    Her voice sang so sadly,
    But with such enticing harmony,
    The words looped and laced me,
    The music drew me in.

    Her sadness enveloped me,
    The keys slowly danced on.
    I took a step forward,
    on the road which she created...
    with her voice and music,
    it spreads out gracefully and onwards.
    The playing keys beckons me,
    Her deadly voice serenades me.
    And I obediently followed.

    The beautiful voice then fades,
    A low voice chanted...
    She cried her confessions,
    He ignored her sorrowful attempts.
    The keys played harder,
    Notes screamed inside my head,
    His refusal angered her,
    And so she sang his death.

    The path before me slimmed,
    But the music urged me on,
    "Continue on to the end,
    Before death flees,
    Then hell will be gone.
    Welcome to my home.
    You've strayed far too long.
    Walk this road,
    And bleed my story,
    Your death is already done.
    Now mark my path with blood..."

    She cried with desperation,
    But I ignored her desperate attempts.
    My refusal has angered her.
    And so she sang my death.

    .




    Submitted on 2005-01-09 17:37:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      A very compelling read. I don't much relate much to opera but this was good.
    | Posted on 2007-11-06 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      I love how this turned from a poem about an opera and the tones and where the music was taking you and then applied it to yourself at the very end. This was very efective and i really enjoyed it. Nice write


    -SilentPoison-
    | Posted on 2007-03-20 00:00:00 | by silentpoison | [ Reply to This ]
      this is so sick. i love it.

    you say that opera singers are a mystery and then i read this poem with a faint tune of opera voice in the back of my head; it makes this write hella more pretty. good work and keep writing
    | Posted on 2007-03-10 00:00:00 | by itsjustme22 | [ Reply to This ]
      awsome dude! Did u get this inspration off of nightwish?

    awsomenesss awsomeness to the not emo MAX.
    yeahhhh peace out dude.
    | Posted on 2006-11-07 00:00:00 | by WD-40 | [ Reply to This ]
      Theres definitely a reason you chose this one as your featured work. I just got done reading every other poem you've written and they seem too similar to eachother to stand out in my mind. Alot of it is either places I've been and left long ago, or just written dark for the sake to be dark.

    But this write I find very passionate. Notice how some of the pups mentioned that the write 'drew them in'. Well, that is because you had a great lead. The most crucial lines of a poem are the first two. The rest solely depends on the content...not the interest of the reader.

    Great job on this in my humble, useless, little opinion,

    MyX
    | Posted on 2006-07-25 00:00:00 | by MyX | [ Reply to This ]
      I really loved this. it's beautiful
    | Posted on 2006-09-08 00:00:00 | by ChimeraNytemare | [ Reply to This ]
      ay imam this is awsome
    i reallyyy lubbb it
    e specilly the last 2 stanzas
    that was grimmafied
    my mom likes this 1 also
    ya
    rip
    Darkness of the Grim Draco
    | Posted on 2005-03-20 00:00:00 | by darkness | [ Reply to This ]
      I love it. I absolutely love it. You drew the reader in with the first stanza, and although it may be symbolic, music lovers will definitely relate. Terrific, well done. Definitely Elite Material.
    | Posted on 2005-01-09 00:00:00 | by Lady Tragedy | [ Reply to This ]
      love it! It really drew me in, I love the whole thing it flows well and it's just...awesome. I like "so she sang my death" that is awesome. I think this poem is just...beautiful.
    | Posted on 2005-01-09 00:00:00 | by MyKemicalfailur | [ Reply to This ]
      nice poem thinggy...i like ur pick too...but i liked it a lot...good work!!
    | Posted on 2006-08-24 00:00:00 | by butterflygirl27 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    41265

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry