Description: Got the inspiration for this after seeing a bunch of smashed bottles on the ground outside a bar downtown. It looked to me like some kind of modern art, although everyone else would look at it like it was just trash. I wrote this little piece about finding beauty in what is commonly accepted as filth and scum. I wasn't going to put it on ES, but Bryce's sister convinced me to. Hope you like it, Cheers.
The Gutter -------------------------------------------
Shards of glass
On a concrete canvas
Wait to be held
Lack of hymen
In immaculate snatch
A humble abode
A suite for the creeps
With no place to go
This is the Gutter
Where hope is unknown
Some call it Hell
But some call it home
This is the Gutter Where hope is unknown Some call it Hell But some call it home
I really liked how you made the raunchy lines about the whores seem like they were beautiful too in their own way. I also liked how you ended it the most because to me "unknown" and "home" somehow seem to rhyme in my head. I really enjoyed this and Bryce's sister was right for having you post this. I liked it very much. Anyway, I have no pointers to give, but I'm glad that you found out that beauty wasn't skin deep. Congrats on your new found phrophesy.
I really like this piece becuz it is true most people wouldnt think of broken bottles as art. I am glad that u can get inspiration out of something like that. This piece is really good and I look forward to reading more of your work.
i certainly can relate to finding beauty in the oddest of places. not many people can do that. i wasn't too fond of the verse about the whore, but that's just me. i think it could be worded a bit differently, but it's your poem. your last stanza says it all.
I love finding beauty in the odd places, I even found beauty in school food, of course, after I described this beauty to my friend she wasnt hungery anymore, but thats another story. I realy loved this peace, it lifted my spirts, te part about it being home. I makes me feel like anyplace can be home to someone, and I really feel like I need a new home right now. I dont feel like I belong in the one I'm in, so maybe the one described here would be a lovely change for me. Its not likly, but why not, I'm sure I can find something homely about the dark allys. I think I'd find the darkness the best part. Sorry if this was to long and to ongoing.
Ahhh, I like this a lot. Its crazy how the smallest thing can makes it way into a story from our mind. I almost hate to comment on this because I have nothing against it...
I liked how you gave the broken shards of glass a broken meaning. The whore and the creeps. To be honest I feel you could write more on this and it would be just as enthralling.. It seems like adecent-length poem but the stanzas are short, as are the sentences.
This was a fun and intersting write. I enjoyed rading it:O)
i'm glad you decided to post this piece here... i often see beauty and art in so called trash... sometimes i take pictures of it...
"lack of hymen in immaculate snatch"
alright.. this made me laugh... i'm not sure if it's supposed to... but it did.. i think it was just you using the word 'snatch' in that context in a poem.. i wasnt expecting it...
'a suite for the creeps with no place to go'
i dont agree with these lines... they dont really back up your 'diamond in the ruff type' theme... i get what you're tying to say.. that they made thier what we view as some dirty overpass they see as thier home... but even they dont think thier home is beauty... i know.. i've slept under bridges before... i dont know.. i guess the concept of people that live on the streets because they want to... i dont know... i'm gonna have to think about this...
i was sad to see this end.. i thought you could have put another stanza in there... maybe strengthened it up.. the first and last stanzas i feel are the strongest...
anyways.. good write.. glad to have stumbled in...