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Author: love gone wrong
ASL Info:    27/m/colorado
Elite Ratio:    2.14 - 337 /381 /42
Words: 64
Class/Type: Poetry /Passion
Total Views: 1877
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 489


before you even say it, lemme just get it out there.....cliché,cliché,cliché.....ok. now what do you think of the last "basking"...leave it, or yank it?


In the warm comfort of you
I feel our spirits mesh and twist
The metamorphosis of love and lust
Sexual bliss
Soft lips
Caressing fingertips
Floating in your energy
I feel a transformation
Our souls weave and entwine
Like the fabric of space and time
Bound together for eternity
We were ..... as we are.....
As we will be

Submitted on 2004-03-24 22:53:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  mmmm.... wonderful. I think maybe you're selling yourself short here. It didn't feel clichéd to me at all. And that last "basking" is perfect. Ties the whole thing together. <><
| Posted on 2004-03-28 00:00:00 | by WorththeWait | [ Reply to This ]
  Leave it (the basking, that is...)! i'm kind of speechless. This was very beautiful to me. I found nothing cliché whatsoever. it had sweet, delicate imagery. Another very nice piece Mr. Mojo-Risin'. Later....
| Posted on 2004-03-25 00:00:00 | by Voodoo_Lounge | [ Reply to This ]
  I think it's ok. Just using a word doesn't make something clichéd. It's how you use it. I think this is great.
| Posted on 2004-03-25 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]

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