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    dots Submission Name: Perfect Glaciersdots

    Author: _proper_noun_
    ASL Info:    20/m/OK
    Elite Ratio:    5.36 - 106/88/24
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Prose/
    Total Views: 1127
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 474


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    dotsPerfect Glaciersdots

    Depthless lake of transparent caramel-bronze, flows seductively around perfect glaciers. Dive in, immerse your mind in the warmth of isolation. Drown the world, drown yourself. Don't worry, it doesn't hurt until you wake up. In the meantime, just sit back, and watch the whole world fall apart. Listen to the shatter, the falling, the crash. Hold on to nothing so it won't slip from your grasp. Don't worry, it doesn't hurt until you wake up.

    Submitted on 2005-01-09 21:17:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Apathy would be correct I think for this piece, but I absolutely love it because while you write specifically about alcoholism, it can relate to other aspects of life, just wanting to fall asleep into darkness, to forget, even if it isn't alcohol induced. Even though it's sad, you nailed it without going on and on.
    | Posted on 2008-01-27 00:00:00 | by Pursuitoflife | [ Reply to This ]
    This is weird but cool. Cool in a very haunting sort of way. It's sorta like. . . just let go, forget about everything that "matters" and let everything just fall apart without the glue that you are that's holding things together. Sorta a hopelessly apathetic piece. . . which isn't a critisism, just an overall assessment. I would revise the first sentence to say this instead. . . "Here, a depthless lake of transparent caramel-bronze flows seductively around perfect glaciers." Or something to this extent anyway. Funny. . . I didn't read your description until just now but I'd already sorta figured out what it was about. That's good. . . and neat.
    | Posted on 2005-01-09 00:00:00 | by secret moon | [ Reply to This ]
      That was a really cool read, I like how you took something so simple and portrayed it as this huge thing.

    "In the meantime, just sit back, and watch the whole world fall apart"

    This line was very creative and thought-provoking. It makes me think the drunk is actually the one falling apart, but to him the world is just melting away in front of him. Nice write, really interesting. Cheers!
    | Posted on 2005-01-10 00:00:00 | by Apocalyptica | [ Reply to This ]

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