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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Oceandots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Dana
    ASL Info:    23/F/Dreamland
    Elite Ratio:    3.98 - 79/87/26
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1260
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 493



    Description:
       The romance which cannot exist. Two loving hearts which are not meant to be together, because they live in different dimensions. Or maybe it's just about someone who's afraid of serious relationship or is to weak to fight for his/her own happiness...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOceandots
    -------------------------------------------


    Our love was like an ocean
    Where we could swim
    Letís dive in deeper
    In depths of the waters
    Let's search for
    The hidden treasure
    Let's find the sweet pleasure
    You were my hero
    I was your mermaid
    Just one kiss
    To make me human
    You wanted to show me
    Your world
    World of humans
    But I said no
    My world is much
    Safer and happier
    Than yours

    © by DANA 2004




    Submitted on 2005-01-10 01:59:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love this theme, the soul as an ocean, the invitation to swim, the realization that change has to occur for those involved. I have to agree, that you need some unique images in this, whether or not the theme is found in lit or not doesn't matter to me. But I do understand if you're going to use a common theme, it's best to carve it out in a unique way. Even more difficult, actually writing a theme of your own, but the reward of doing so are great.
    Thanks for sharing this.

    nansofast
    | Posted on 2005-01-21 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this poem and it has a great sense of symbolism. The ocean and love are vast, enfinite, and rough at times, alone with a calming serenity. There is a good quote for this poem. The day one finds a single tear in the ocean is the day that love exists no longer.
    | Posted on 2005-01-10 00:00:00 | by wildcatchamps | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm, fear of love, sometimes it's just so much safer to just stay away from it isn't it? I think this could benefit from some punctuation if only just to break it up a bit, but apart from that, well done
    | Posted on 2005-01-10 00:00:00 | by Thrin | [ Reply to This ]
      I checked this out a little while ago ..and thought it was "cute" ...i came back a looked again and im glad i did ...The great thing about this poem is the more you look into it ...the more you can see...
    Good Job
    | Posted on 2005-01-10 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
      This was sweet. Strangely affectionate and tender in delivery. I felt it suffered from poor spacing while reading it but that still didn't take away from the overall goodness of it's basis.
    | Posted on 2005-01-10 00:00:00 | by gavinspikenard | [ Reply to This ]


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