Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Try to Crydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Nagow
    ASL Info:    20/f/Denmark
    Elite Ratio:    2.56 - 56/70/29
    Words: 66
    Class/Type: Poetry/Me
    Total Views: 875
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 424



    Description:
       Let me know what you think


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Try to Crydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sporatic fears hold me like chains
    The invisible tears never faint
    leaving me naked out in the rain
    I can't fake it, my emotional shame

    Rain drops on my mind
    making my blind
    I try to cry
    but there's rain in my eyes

    I don't know how to dicover me
    my feelings they are all unfree

    where should i go
    do you know?




    Submitted on 2005-01-10 13:25:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I dont really like the way that the poem ends. It sounds forced. The rest of it is very good. It is descriptive(which i think is important). :)
    | Posted on 2005-01-22 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      i think you meant "me " instead of "my" (line 6)
    and "discover" instead of "dicover" (line 9)
    other then that it was great. i love it. i am totally feel this post right here. i can so understand this. keep up the awesome work
    love tina
    | Posted on 2005-01-10 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    41385

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry