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    dots Submission Name: Eternal Visiondots

    Author: webdevil
    Elite Ratio:    3.2 - 113/105/43
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1048
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 638

       A poem that intends to potray the universal dimensions of love, in all its' ramifications.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEternal Visiondots

    Dreams and the river
    love and the goddess
    time and its' calling
    they tell me of you

    Life and its' story
    birds and their freedom
    songs' and their wisdom
    they tell me of you

    Lands and their people
    roads and their journey
    flowers and their scents
    they tell me of you

    Stars and the universe
    poems and their verse
    laughter and its' bliss
    they tell me of you

    Death and its' birth
    eyes and their sight
    heaven and the fountain
    they tell me of you.

    Submitted on 2004-03-25 06:31:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i love how you say they tell me its like youre imaging finding the one that matches your heart. it was full of words i could have never used lol but you are a wonderful wirter

    xox reiza
    | Posted on 2005-08-07 00:00:00 | by crazzybeautiful | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a wonderful use of imagery. You really paint a vivid picture with your words. You have a great style of writing. I like the way it rhymes. I do not see how people already jump to conclusions just because it rhymes. I personally write a lot of rhyming pieces and think if written well can be very powerful. You did a great job here. Keep it up.
    | Posted on 2004-09-04 00:00:00 | by Thornful Rose | [ Reply to This ]
      there's a lot of imagery in this, and it's very good that you manage to change the picture in my mind in every verse. I love the last stanza...and i love how there is a refrain in the line " they tell me of you" . You've compared all over the poem, with beauty in the words. Keep it up.
    | Posted on 2004-04-03 00:00:00 | by Little Gal | [ Reply to This ]
      you're really quite good. really enjoyed this. one tiny grammar thing--you don't need the apostrophe on all the "its".
    | Posted on 2004-03-30 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this pretty well for a rhymed poem (a prejudice I have, sorry). However, you need to change "its'" to "its" ("it's," on the other hand, is a contraction for "it is").
    | Posted on 2004-03-25 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]

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