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    dots Submission Name: Povertydots

    Author: Lee
    ASL Info:    29/F/South Africa
    Elite Ratio:    4.57 - 55/54/14
    Words: 137
    Class/Type: Misc/Sorry
    Total Views: 940
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 886


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    The fine lines of poverty
    are carved like a map upon your face

    Your fridged look melts away the mercyless sun
    as you wipe away the sweat on your leatherish skin

    Inside the silence of your sanity
    you can hear your hunger scream

    Aches and pains has become your only friend,
    constantly there, in the alleys where you sleep, in body and soul, never leaving your side

    The judgement lies shallow in the eyes of your bypassers
    while you pluck them out viciously in the corner of your mind and smile sincerely..
    with your begging hands lying open

    Today you had a good day, counting the few worthless coins
    Some booze and smoke's slide across the counter..
    this will ease the cold tonight

    Tomorrow maby, you'll have enough for food

    Submitted on 2005-01-11 03:59:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I'm sorry. i'm sure my comment will stick out, ebcasue i don't really like this. I found myself not wanting to read the whole thing. I think you can do better. Put your whole heart into it. It is really missing someting. I'm sorry
    | Posted on 2005-01-12 00:00:00 | by MiKkI25 | [ Reply to This ]
      a very genuine idea you just wrote there describing the life of the poor and the ones who have really nothing to live for except try to stay alive .. your images are expressive and very descriptive , good work and keep that up
    | Posted on 2005-01-11 00:00:00 | by Tarek Refaat | [ Reply to This ]
      I like how youve expressed the alcohol and smokes outweighing the food. The food is important, but the alcohol and smokes maybe makes them feel more alive...
    anyway ..great write
    | Posted on 2005-01-11 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]

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