In a way i hate to say it but your write had it been one of my relatives over there who had died i would like them to be more than just a number at the bottom of a tv screen. Though i believe this war is wrong the soldiers deserve more credit and apprciation than just a number that noone really knows. I liked your poem it made me appreciate those who are fighting so much more than i have before, i'm goign to add it to my favs. i believe everyone should read this piece its amazing. Chon
They aren't just nameless numbers on the bottom of your tv screen. Appreciate their sacrifice.
I like the description you gave of the poem first and foremost. Because even though some people may not agree with the war, its still going on, just accept it. But don't allow your freedom to neglect the fact, that someone had to die for what you had, someone had to be killed for what we cherish so much. and sometimes, we, as selfish, Americans, seem to neglect that. Now, on to my comment...
“One US Soldier Killed Today” As if they’re nameless numbers But they deserve more respect than that, Who rest in Heaven’s slumber
This is a salute and prayer To those who fought and died This is the love and thanks From a country full of pride.
These are the truest words that I have heard for a long time. I don't know if its because of your new found love for the Army since you're joining soon or the fact that you know you are an American and you know someone had to die in order to make that title true. I want to say thank you for sharing this. I liked it very much. Correction, I loved it. Its going on my favorites list. Because its appears everyone is so afraid to accept what is in front of them. And its easy to accept if you know that the person is nameless...this poem is worth more then a thousand words. Maybe share it with your recruiter or something. I wouldn't think that they'd think you'd be weird for doing that. Hell, your living the American Dream hun. Good luck Sean. And thanks for sharing this.
I believe Smitty made a point that I would love to see included in your poem...freedom. Maybe add it in the line that goes " love and thanks" maybe go " freedom and love... anyway just a thought because it is what they are fighting for. You moved me with this piece and it was well written and flowed easy. Dana
Thank you for this piece. I thought it was very meaningful and significant. There were a few places where the flow could have been smoother and I have put my suggestions along with your text in [brackets]. I don't by any means want to rewrite your poem, but these are just some ideas that might make it even better. Let me know what you think. Thanks for sharing-Lazy Spleen
One American Soldier -
When his flag has been folded And his last taps are played When his coffin is ready And his last beds been made [And his last beds made]
While his men watch on With not one dry eye They’ll remember their comrade A soldier, Alive
And his family will grieve The loss of a son He was only a boy When he died by the gun [When he fell by the gun]
He had fought in the sand And the cities as well [In the cities as well] He had fought like a tiger In his battle through Hell [His battle through Hell]
They gave him a medal Posthumously But what do medals matter [But what good are medals] To those who are deceased?
When he is saluted And lowered on in [And lowered in] The soldier will find peace At his life-long battle’s end [At his battle's end]
And all we will know About this teary scene Is what we see on CNN [Is a fragmented sentence] At the bottom of the screen [On CNN's screen]
“One US Soldier Killed Today” As if they’re nameless numbers But they deserve more respect than that, [But they deserve more respect] Who rest in Heaven’s slumber
This is a salute and prayer To those who fought and died This is the love and thanks From a country full of pride.
I thank you for writting this and it is definately going to my favs, because my brother is over there fighting right now. This brought me to tears thinking about him and how much I wanted to see him again. I don't want him to be there or in the coffin for that matter.
this is a beautiful ode to all the men and women who have lost their lives while fighting for freedom. i don't always agree with the reasons for the wars that we get involvedin (Iraq in particular), but i do support the troops who believe in what they are doing and have the courage of their convictions. my father was in the army for 25 years, and he went to Korea and Viet Nam. he is one of the lucky ones who survived.
you are so right about them not being just a number on the tv screen. they are flesh and blood, people who had families and lives. that is what makes it so poignant and heart-breaking.
Submission Name: One American Soldier
