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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: One American Soldierdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Apocalyptica
    Elite Ratio:    6.41 - 79/66/10
    Words: 193
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1241
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1233



    Description:
       For the fallen. They aren't just nameless numbers on the bottom of your tv screen. Appreciate their sacrifice.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOne American Soldierdots
    -------------------------------------------


    When his flag has been folded
    And his last taps are played
    When his coffin is ready
    And his last beds been made

    While his men watch on
    With not one dry eye
    They’ll remember their comrade
    A soldier, Alive

    And his family will grieve
    The loss of a son
    He was only a boy
    When he died by the gun

    He had fought in the sand
    And the cities as well
    He had fought like a tiger
    In his battle through Hell

    They gave him a medal
    Posthumously
    But what do medals matter
    To those who are deceased?

    When he is saluted
    And lowered on in
    The soldier will find peace
    At his life-long battle’s end

    And all we will know
    About this teary scene
    Is what we see on CNN
    At the bottom of the screen

    “One US Soldier Killed Today”
    As if they’re nameless numbers
    But they deserve more respect than that,
    Who rest in Heaven’s slumber

    This is a salute and prayer
    To those who fought and died
    This is the love and thanks
    From a country full of pride.




    Submitted on 2005-01-11 04:01:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      In a way i hate to say it but your write had it been one of my relatives over there who had died i would like them to be more than just a number at the bottom of a tv screen. Though i believe this war is wrong the soldiers deserve more credit and apprciation than just a number that noone really knows. I liked your poem it made me appreciate those who are fighting so much more than i have before, i'm goign to add it to my favs. i believe everyone should read this piece its amazing.
    Chon
    | Posted on 2005-01-22 00:00:00 | by xPoetxBoyx | [ Reply to This ]
      They aren't just nameless numbers on the bottom of your tv screen. Appreciate their sacrifice.

    I like the description you gave of the poem first and foremost. Because even though some people may not agree with the war, its still going on, just accept it. But don't allow your freedom to neglect the fact, that someone had to die for what you had, someone had to be killed for what we cherish so much. and sometimes, we, as selfish, Americans, seem to neglect that. Now, on to my comment...

    “One US Soldier Killed Today”
    As if they’re nameless numbers
    But they deserve more respect than that,
    Who rest in Heaven’s slumber

    This is a salute and prayer
    To those who fought and died
    This is the love and thanks
    From a country full of pride.

    These are the truest words that I have heard for a long time. I don't know if its because of your new found love for the Army since you're joining soon or the fact that you know you are an American and you know someone had to die in order to make that title true. I want to say thank you for sharing this. I liked it very much. Correction, I loved it. Its going on my favorites list. Because its appears everyone is so afraid to accept what is in front of them. And its easy to accept if you know that the person is nameless...this poem is worth more then a thousand words. Maybe share it with your recruiter or something. I wouldn't think that they'd think you'd be weird for doing that. Hell, your living the American Dream hun. Good luck Sean. And thanks for sharing this.
    | Posted on 2005-01-14 00:00:00 | by Brwnsknsam05 | [ Reply to This ]
      This made me cry ...Like really cry ...Its really well written and all that ...but the heart youve put into it is amazing . Well done
    | Posted on 2005-01-11 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
      I believe Smitty made a point that I would love to see included in your poem...freedom. Maybe add it in the line that goes " love and thanks" maybe go " freedom and love... anyway just a thought because it is what they are fighting for. You moved me with this piece and it was well written and flowed easy.
    Dana
    | Posted on 2005-01-11 00:00:00 | by raptures | [ Reply to This ]
      Thank you for this piece. I thought it was very meaningful and significant. There were a few places where the flow could have been smoother and I have put my suggestions along with your text in [brackets]. I don't by any means want to rewrite your poem, but these are just some ideas that might make it even better. Let me know what you think. Thanks for sharing-Lazy Spleen

    One American Soldier
    -


    When his flag has been folded
    And his last taps are played
    When his coffin is ready
    And his last beds been made
    [And his last beds made]

    While his men watch on
    With not one dry eye
    They’ll remember their comrade
    A soldier, Alive

    And his family will grieve
    The loss of a son
    He was only a boy
    When he died by the gun
    [When he fell by the gun]

    He had fought in the sand
    And the cities as well
    [In the cities as well]
    He had fought like a tiger
    In his battle through Hell
    [His battle through Hell]

    They gave him a medal
    Posthumously
    But what do medals matter
    [But what good are medals]
    To those who are deceased?

    When he is saluted
    And lowered on in
    [And lowered in]
    The soldier will find peace
    At his life-long battle’s end
    [At his battle's end]

    And all we will know
    About this teary scene
    Is what we see on CNN
    [Is a fragmented sentence]
    At the bottom of the screen
    [On CNN's screen]

    “One US Soldier Killed Today”
    As if they’re nameless numbers
    But they deserve more respect than that,
    [But they deserve more respect]
    Who rest in Heaven’s slumber

    This is a salute and prayer
    To those who fought and died
    This is the love and thanks
    From a country full of pride.
    | Posted on 2005-01-11 00:00:00 | by Lazy Spleen | [ Reply to This ]
      I thank you for writting this and it is definately going to my favs, because my brother is over there fighting right now. This brought me to tears thinking about him and how much I wanted to see him again. I don't want him to be there or in the coffin for that matter.
    | Posted on 2005-01-11 00:00:00 | by ForsakenAngel | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a beautiful ode to all the men and women who have lost their lives while fighting for freedom. i don't always agree with the reasons for the wars that we get involvedin (Iraq in particular), but i do support the troops who believe in what they are doing and have the courage of their convictions. my father was in the army for 25 years, and he went to Korea and Viet Nam. he is one of the lucky ones who survived.

    you are so right about them not being just a number on the tv screen. they are flesh and blood, people who had families and lives. that is what makes it so poignant and heart-breaking.
    | Posted on 2005-01-11 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]


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