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    dots Submission Name: With Youdots

    Author: Belle De Jour
    ASL Info:    24/Female/Inside
    Elite Ratio:    3.79 - 335/367/53
    Words: 52
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1087
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 337


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWith Youdots

    Ignite me in flames
    with your simple touch.
    Glare into this being
    with your shadowed eyes.

    I give you all, everything
    I have kept within.
    Take me into your depths
    Never let me free.

    Beneath the darkness of
    this night, with you
    is where I long to be.

    Submitted on 2005-01-12 00:19:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I personaly feel that the quality of comments has dropped dramatically. Ah I suppose it cannot be helped.

    Welcome back my friend. It has been many days since I have seen you here.

    This piece has erotic undertones but they are overshadowed by a deafening voice. A voice who is calling out to something or someone. Giving in to them or it. A shout into the darkness that says, " I am here, take me and do what you will."

    It leaves the reader asking a simple question...who or what?

    I guess it is the question that drives us, perhaps it is the engine that drives this poem. The question never meant to be answered.

    Your writing always made me think. This is no exception.

    Thank you for sharing it.

    mister fizzle
    | Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by Mister Fizzle | [ Reply to This ]
       this was reallly kool it shows you really care about someone and that you have great talent you did really good on this and i think you should continue to keep on writing because you did really good on this its descriptive and shows how much you love someone and want to be with them
    | Posted on 2005-01-12 00:00:00 | by PlayPunk924 | [ Reply to This ]
      so must trust was felt in this love poem.

    This stanza for me is what makes the poem good:

    I give you all, everything
    I have kept within.
    Take me into your depths
    Never let me free.

    You so trusting of this man and willing to give of yourself to the max, is so beautiful to see.

    good write

    Keep writing and I will keep reading
    | Posted on 2005-01-12 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it a lot. It is romantic, but I couldn't help and sence a bit of tormenting anguish and pain? Am I totally off, or am I making it mean what I want it to mean, or am I right? Anything?
    Whatever, but I think overall this was a good piece.
    | Posted on 2005-01-12 00:00:00 | by bloodwing | [ Reply to This ]

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