hello it's me i'm back by aftertheflesh

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Submission Name: hello it's me i'm back dots

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Author:	aftertheflesh
Elite Ratio:	2.89 - 76/113/48
Words:	61

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	257
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	403

Description:
i like cheese is the overall theme of this piece

hello it's me i'm back dots

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shelved forgotten
insecure and breakin
alone drained
altogether forsaken
we sit and wait for the next fool messiah
and ponder our existence
sitting by the fire
burning our flesh we watch our wounds heal
gods angenerals to whom to we kneel?
is there any way we could get past our expressions
or lose ourselves and make a connection

Submitted on 2005-01-12 14:56:18 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  To quote a friend of mine 'cheese looks good on bread'
Although I do not see a correlation between your poem and cheese although now I would like some cheese very much I will be right back...okay, i am back. And my cheese is quite yummy, thank you for putting the thought into my head so I would get some super yummy cheese. lol, enough about cheese! this was an awesome write, it really made me think (and not just about cheese) and that's my favorite kind of writing! great job!
| Posted on 2005-01-12 00:00:00 | by painofthanatos | [ Reply to This ]
  i thought your poem was alright and i do agree the second to should be do it sounds better that way but hey its your you write it the way you want! but i didnt think of cheese but i like cheese anyway
| Posted on 2005-01-12 00:00:00 | by misty_of_moon | [ Reply to This ]
  stupid peop,le do stupid thing and smart people outsmart eachother then themselves then themselves that has to be your point right cheese is friend not food
| Posted on 2005-01-12 00:00:00 | by Rennes | [ Reply to This ]
  gods angenerals to whom to we kneel?

I change the second 'to' and make it do instead.
other then that very thought provoking peice...
but cheese...how on earth...cheese???
ok...I didn't think of cheese...I it did make me think...of coming to terms with what ever is causing distraction.
Thanks for this read...different and fresh
kelly
| Posted on 2005-01-12 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]

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