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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: cody browndots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 421
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 601
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2813



    Description:
       i wrote this to a guy who i was totally in love with. its a long story. his name really is Cody. i asked him to readit. Do you think he'll say yes?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotscody browndots
    -------------------------------------------


    I think of you,
    Every single day.
    And I'll always remember,
    Your birthday in May.

    I love you so much,
    That I don't know what to do.
    When I'm not with you,
    I feel oh so blue.

    When I think of you,
    My heart jumps with glee.
    I want you to be,
    Forever with me.

    So I'll ask you one question,
    Please anwer it true.
    Will you walk to the alter,
    And then say, "I do"?

    I love you so much,
    With all of my heart.
    I never want us,
    To be far apart.

    So won't you please,
    Just marry me.
    I'll promise you're happy.
    I'll set your mind free.

    So think of me,
    Whenever you dream.
    I'll love you forever,
    I'll know what you mean.

    I loved you so much,
    That when I broke up with you I cried.
    We'll comfort each other,
    And I'll be by your side.

    So please answer my question,
    You're the love of my life.
    You know I wish to be,
    Your one and only wife.

    I'll be good to you,
    And you'll be good to me.
    Without you in my life,
    I'll never be free.

    I don't want you to be pressured,
    Into something you don't want.
    I want you to be happy,
    Because you're all that I've got.

    So I want you to say,
    A simple "Yes" or "No."
    I love you with everything,
    Just so you know.

    Will you marry me,
    And be my only groom?
    But I don't want you to feel,
    As if you've been doomed.

    I love you, Cody Brown,
    With more than I have.
    I never want to see you,
    Be really sad.

    So please don't be angry,
    With my little love note.
    My heart couldn't rest,
    But now it floats.

    I love you so much,
    That you wouldn't even know.
    Whenever I'm around you,
    I can feel my heart glow.

    Everytime I get a message,
    That you have sent to me,
    I feel like you love me,
    And you've set my heart free.

    I want us to be together,
    For the rest of our lives.
    And now you know I love you,
    So please drop the knives.

    Please don't hurt yourself,
    Because if you do I'll cry.
    I want you to be alive,
    Not for you to die.

    I love you with everything,
    I want you to be mine.
    And whenever you need help,
    I'll be there everytime.




    Submitted on 2005-01-12 15:23:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow great read. i wish someone would feel so strongly about me. but that is another story. except for a few typos i think this is great. you have done a really good job trying to get the reader to feel what you are feeling and the intensity of it too. great work... anyways did he says yes?
    | Posted on 2005-05-19 00:00:00 | by sweet_rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW...YOU HAVE A HEART AFTER ALL! just kidding. Pertty well written, I only caught like 2-3 mistakes. you forgot the s in answer and well...typos aren't that important so Ill shut up. I wish someone would feel that way about me...anyways...What did he say?
    | Posted on 2005-05-19 00:00:00 | by Samuel Bielz | [ Reply to This ]
      this indeed was good.the intensity of,
    reflects the importance to u
    and added to lenght,i suspect.a protrayl of love is excellent.there is no mistaken

    cool

    wes all toyysruss
    | Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by toyysruss | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought this poem was a good read,it was very sweet and you really poured your heart out to Cody.It was very honest and emotional.If someone was to write this to me I would feel so wanted,and lets face it we all want to feel wanted.well done,good work.take care,Jamie.
    | Posted on 2005-02-10 00:00:00 | by korn9426 | [ Reply to This ]
      I tend to agree with the whole name in the title thing. but I really liked this it showed how much you really cared about a certain person and it was really touchy... I liked the transitions.. good work
    | Posted on 2005-01-17 00:00:00 | by bleedbroken | [ Reply to This ]
      Firstly, I think the use of the word 'Cody' (despite it being a name) in the title is a mistake, because it makes the reader think that this is a very personal write, when really, the feelings you described here will be felt by a lot of people.

    Secondly, I think that the fact that you love/loved this guy is repeted/exaggerated too much, I'm sorry Tina, but that's the way I feel. By the end of the second or third stanza, that message has got through already. I feel the poem should then move on to how the break up happened etc. I counted that six of the stanzas start with 'I love you,' so thats how much it is repeated, whether you realised it or not.

    Finally, I would like to say, that despite what I have said, this was enjoyable to read. The theme may be 'immature' but this makes it all the more approachable as more people are likely to have been there. The message gets through well (even if a little too well) and the reader is left with a firm grasp on what has happened. I should think that this did a fair bit of venting at the time of writing.

    Sorry for the long comment and I'm sorry if it's not to your liking also.Do you get on AIM anymore?
    | Posted on 2005-01-14 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
      Although your rhyme scheme was good, effective, the poem itself was a little too cutsie junior-high for me (and that's saying something, considering I'm a very corny person). I just wish you could have conveyed love as a more complex emotion. Other than that, well done.
    | Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by Lady Tragedy | [ Reply to This ]
      You have a wonderful talent. I love how you wrote this. Well it is defineltly obvious you love someone with all your heart. I wish i could feel that way and someone feel that way about me back, well life is hard. But i wish you the best of luck in life and i hope you get what you want.
    Much love to ya
    mikki
    | Posted on 2005-01-12 00:00:00 | by MiKkI25 | [ Reply to This ]
      realy good at exspressing your true feelings. i think it is a little to run on sry: ( but it still is a very good poem non the less. o ya u wanted me to tell u the insperation behind my poem deception well it's mainly inspired my my whole life. i'm fairly new to this sight i still need to learn how to send messages properly lol but once i do i'll tell you the whole insperation behing the poem.

    but hey keep up the good work i hope to read more of your work.
    brandon (bran-bran)
    | Posted on 2005-03-03 00:00:00 | by disturbedx1000 | [ Reply to This ]


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