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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Everdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: riverseo
    ASL Info:    18/Male/Belfast
    Elite Ratio:    4.17 - 24/34/13
    Words: 96
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 909
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 629



    Description:
       Ha i have kinda had a rough few weeks, im not suicidal far from it just some not so great things going on i guess...well enjoy if thats the right word for it..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEverdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Ever go for a walk, not knowing where you’re heading?
    Ever see an old friend, who you have been dreading?

    Ever is life full of disturbing dreams,
    An alcoholic fervour, sweating blood
    Flows down the brow in angry streams
    Bringing down the walls in a flood.
    The corrugated iron roof buckles in sorrow
    Sorrow at a life gone astray in the wind
    Crying forever about endless tomorrow
    Sinew showing as if he had been skinned.

    Ever had one of those endless worthless days?
    Ever had the thought that life never pays?

    Ever?




    Submitted on 2005-01-12 22:16:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      This will be an odd comment but bare with me K?

    "Ever go for a walk, not knowing where you’re heading?"

    First off I loved this line so much. I do that all the time when I am upset and my familyis sad and my brother is drunk or high or something. I just head out side and start walking, not really knowing where I will end up. I just go and it tends to make me happier.

    "Ever see an old friend, who you have been dreading?"

    Next. all the time. I enjoyed this because I have a few old friends and when I see them I just want to leave and burry me head in a pillow somewhere. I related to these first to lines quit a bit and loved them because of that.

    "Ever is life full of disturbing dreams,
    An alcoholic fervour, sweating blood
    Flows down the brow in angry streams
    Bringing down the walls in a flood.
    The corrugated iron roof buckles in sorrow
    Sorrow at a life gone astray in the wind
    Crying forever about endless tomorrow
    Sinew showing as if he had been skinned."

    Now this part is just beautifully written and I felt I had to say that. The first few lines of this segment really spoke to me.

    "
    Ever had one of those endless worthless days?
    Ever had the thought that life never pays?"

    ANd once again all the time. I am always like, "Why am I here. Everything I do just gets me closer to the day I die and there is no payback...is there?" anyway this is just like, me thoughts. It jumped out at me.

    And the ending was great. It tied things together nicely. No this is not the best poem ever, and I am sure there are things about it that could be better but I loved it the way it is.
    | Posted on 2005-01-12 00:00:00 | by Cigarette Smoke | [ Reply to This ]
      I feel this way a lot. Just walking down the street, going nowhere, for nothing. The days mean nothing at all to me, because nothing ever happens. I often wonder where life is taking me, and if it really pays to live, like you said in the last line. Very nice write, excellent job.

    How are things going in Belfast, if you don't mind me asking? I have a lot of family there that I haven't been in touch with for a long time.
    Slaenta!
    | Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by Apocalyptica | [ Reply to This ]


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