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    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Liardots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: PlayPunk924
    ASL Info:    14/F/Nc
    Elite Ratio:    3.02 - 26/30/9
    Words: 116
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 911
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 763



    Description:
       this is a poem that expresses alot


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLiardots
    -------------------------------------------


    Suffocate me with words of hate,
    Drown me in feelings of scorn,
    Choke me with your evil thoughts,
    Stab me with your thorns,

    Asphyxiate my happiness,
    Take away its breath,
    Pound the nails into its skin,
    Beat it near to death,

    Remove the blindfold from my eyes,
    And tell me what I see,
    Erase the joy, erase the love,
    I followed carelessly,

    Poison me with bitter lies,
    And kick me as I crawl,
    Tie the rope around my neck,
    And watch me take the fall,

    Burn the structure of my love,
    And set my life on fire,
    Destroy everything like you said you wouldn't,
    And take my life, you liar!





    Submitted on 2005-01-13 06:04:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoyed this one quite well. I can tell that you are no stranger to the pain of betrayel from another one of you writings. That's an emotion that can be so simple to ponder and makes it so easy to write about. But you have a talent... I love how this finishes real smooth and I like much of you descriptions you use to describe the hate; the lie. A definte favorite of mine... cheers!
    | Posted on 2005-04-15 00:00:00 | by Isaac | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi there, you have a great talent! This might seem stupid to ask, but what drove you to write this, I mean, I can see there's allot of anger throughout the poem, but is it personal or is it maybe anger towards God? It was a great write and I would just like to know if I interpreted it right.
    Looking forward to read some more of your stuff!
    | Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by Lee | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey- alright! Thys was awesome! WoW- not enough of these types on here. Therefore I love you. Thank you for thys breath of clean air in all of thys smog! Peace, love and the #6
    | Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]
      You can't tell me you didn't feel better after writng this, hey? i love emotionally strong poems where the reader can feel writers words deep down in their heart.
    I dont even anythin negative about this poem because this i what i like to see.
    I usually find that most poems are emotionally shollow but not this.
    thanx for the breathe of fresh angry air!
    | Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by Rubi_Roja | [ Reply to This ]
      whoa, this has to quailfy as one of the best emotionaly displays I've read. There is nothing I can recommend this was wonderful from the text to the flow to the deep emotion bursting out of this, BRAVO!
    | Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      ooh...such deep hatred...

    Remove the blindfold from my eyes,
    And tell me what I see,
    Erase the joy, erase the love,
    I followed carelessly,

    my favorite part. When you are so lost, so confused, you must be told what you see...complete dominance is what this stanza gave me the impression of. Like someone took your life, your heart, your everything, so they too must tell you what you see once you can...kinda sad that someone would give theirselves up like that...but love does strange things...sadder still is the fact that love was abused...

    ->Dark
    | Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by drk_angl_17 | [ Reply to This ]
      What a great expression on such a deep pain, you did it so well and I'm sure it had to make you fell at least a litte better.It was so flowing but not common.I have to commend you on a piece that had such sorrow but gave beauty.

    Bravo
    | Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by Forgiven | [ Reply to This ]
      now that's how to get your emotions down on paper, go girl go,lol So steady was your vent all the way through, that poor guy is burnt toast,lol

    Yes, indeed this poem was deeply dramatic and pointed.

    excellent write
    | Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      just one phrase to describe your poem: DEEPLY DRAMATIC

    I like how you released all the anger... and yet did it so beautifully... You perfectly showed your emotions through your choice of words...

    Love it.
    | Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by solitary_cross | [ Reply to This ]


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