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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tales of My Subconciousdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1040
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 629



    Description:
       This came to me as a hazy bit of words, I really like this one, not to brag but I really felt it and I have been having trouble with that for awhile.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTales of My Subconciousdots
    -------------------------------------------


    nothing tangible but your face
    dizziness outside of myself
    I'm raped with emotional pain
    but I am to bruised to beg for help

    I see you in my dreams
    you speak more in life
    in my head your silence screams
    but it says nothing of you inside

    when I sleep I can't let you go
    you are irrestible to my thoughts
    my subconcious doesn't know
    that for you I have fought

    a reflection of what's not there
    is nothing for me to see
    so I pretend that you care
    and I pretend that you see me




    Submitted on 2005-01-13 11:45:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this was a sad poem Jaz. Is it about David? Oh yeah, Derrick is grounded, so David can only come on weekends. The last two lines in your poem were sad but awesome...

    ...farewell...
    | Posted on 2005-01-14 00:00:00 | by jessie thomas | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this poem the way you worded it was great! I can tell that you really can feel what your talking about and i can identify with it.
    | Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by Selene | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, you really portray the feelings really well in this poem, and when someone reads this they in turn think of a time that they felt this exact way! i love it very awsome write! *~lilghostye~*
    | Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by lilghostyme | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really really good. Nice emotion in it...I love the words you used...not too simple but nothing we need to pull a dictionary out for.
    | Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by MyKemicalfailur | [ Reply to This ]
      that was awesome.. your play on words really brought out the emotion in this piece and peresonally if I were you I would have been bragging about it to.. this was a really good well written piece.
    | Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by bleedbroken | [ Reply to This ]
      hey thats very very good i love it
    you put this in great words that i could never exsplain
    well i would write more but im in school
    ~ununderstood
    good write
    | Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by UNunderStood | [ Reply to This ]


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