[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Tales of My Subconciousdots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1060
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 629

       This came to me as a hazy bit of words, I really like this one, not to brag but I really felt it and I have been having trouble with that for awhile.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTales of My Subconciousdots

    nothing tangible but your face
    dizziness outside of myself
    I'm raped with emotional pain
    but I am to bruised to beg for help

    I see you in my dreams
    you speak more in life
    in my head your silence screams
    but it says nothing of you inside

    when I sleep I can't let you go
    you are irrestible to my thoughts
    my subconcious doesn't know
    that for you I have fought

    a reflection of what's not there
    is nothing for me to see
    so I pretend that you care
    and I pretend that you see me

    Submitted on 2005-01-13 11:45:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this was a sad poem Jaz. Is it about David? Oh yeah, Derrick is grounded, so David can only come on weekends. The last two lines in your poem were sad but awesome...

    | Posted on 2005-01-14 00:00:00 | by jessie thomas | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this poem the way you worded it was great! I can tell that you really can feel what your talking about and i can identify with it.
    | Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by Selene | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, you really portray the feelings really well in this poem, and when someone reads this they in turn think of a time that they felt this exact way! i love it very awsome write! *~lilghostye~*
    | Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by lilghostyme | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really really good. Nice emotion in it...I love the words you used...not too simple but nothing we need to pull a dictionary out for.
    | Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by MyKemicalfailur | [ Reply to This ]
      that was awesome.. your play on words really brought out the emotion in this piece and peresonally if I were you I would have been bragging about it to.. this was a really good well written piece.
    | Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by bleedbroken | [ Reply to This ]
      hey thats very very good i love it
    you put this in great words that i could never exsplain
    well i would write more but im in school
    good write
    | Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by UNunderStood | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    prison written by ShyOne
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Love written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Cover written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Carry written by saartha
    The World written by jjd
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]